Shenmue II

[LOL]

It's a waste of time trying to help Jeremy, as he believes it is acceptable for him to be arrogant and stubborn despite the unanimous disgust and criticism of his horrible, horrible reviews.

[Diff-chan]

Jeremy, this review is unbelievably bad. It's repetitive, dull as fuck, cliche-ridden, and well... its a huge piece of shit.

William the Conqueror waged war to conquer England in 1066 and a lot of people died to help make the English language what it is today. Why are you so intent on insulting their memory and their work with your crap reviews?

Jeremy, stop posting reviews here. You do not listen to anyone. Remember that FC thread I made, "Jeremy's reviews make me yearn for death?" Well nothing has changed.

Here's an example of your Pulitzer Prize winning entry:

The aforementioned QTEs take on a whole new life in the sequel. In the original, they weren’t really used too much, as the free battling, which in and of itself wasn’t used enough, tended to take precedence over it in many fighting scenes. In the sequel, you’ll be doing plenty of QTEs and free battles, which equals more excitement for the player, and more involvement in the goings on of the game as well. The revamped QTEs are a breath of fresh air, as the added button presses really help to keep them from getting stagnant.

Let's break this down:

The aforementioned QTEs take on a whole new life in the sequel. In the original, they weren’t really used too much, as the free battling, which in and of itself wasn’t used enough, tended to take precedence over it in many fighting scenes.

UNNECESSARY WORD: "whole"
UNNECESSARY WORD: "aforementioned"
CLICHE: "take on a whole new life"
UNNECESSARY WORD: "really"
CLICHE: "in and of itself"
CONFUSING: when you say "it", are you referring to free battles or QTEs?
GARBAGE SENTENCE: What the fuck is with that last sentence in this paragraph? "QTEs werent used enough, but free battles which werent used enough either were used more". And why wouldn't free BATTLES take "precedence" over QTEs in FIGHTING sequences? I mean, Jeremy, are you fucking kidding me? That's a proper English language sentence in your mind? Is English even your first language?

The revamped QTEs are a breath of fresh air, as the added button presses really help to keep them from getting stagnant.

CLICHE: "breath of fresh air"
CLICHE WORD: "revamped" - what's so revamped about them? More button presses? Are you joking? Even if that is what is revamped about them, you mentioned the added button presses AFTER you said that the QTEs were revamped.
UNNECESSARY WORD: "really"

That's nine problems in a small four sentence paragraph. With some more digging, Im sure I could find nine more.

I know you're not gonna listen to me, I know you're gonna moan about how you've "changed" your style or how "your writing style" demands this and this, but just fucking stop it. Maybe this is just the stress of finals week speaking, but your reviews are a goddamn insult to every writer under the sun. I would love for you to try to peddle your shit at a writing class here. You would get laughed out of the room, and I would take much delight in that. You have ignored the good, constructive criticism of MANY people on this board, and that seriously pisses me off.

[taloony]

Originally posted by diffusionx

William the Conqueror waged war to conquer England in 1066 and a lot of people died to help make the English language what it is today. Why are you so intent on insulting their memory and their work with your crap reviews?

Oh shit...can't..stop..laughing.

Jeremy, these guys are spot on with their criticisms. Ignore the rude shit, but read "between the lines" here man.

[Mr_Furious]

Jeremy,

Buried among the rudeness, there's a lot of useful criticisms you could absorb. They could help if you choose to let them.

[Jeremy]

Hey, I'd love to do that, but I can't get beyond the endless bullshit I've been put through by half the folks in this thread to actually use the advice. Why should I take the advice of folks who spent MONTHS giving me shit?

[BriannaHaskins]

Err..OKEI.

Well, anyway, I just loved the chemistry between Ren and Ryo in this game. Xiuying is just a beautifully well-rounded character. I hope we see more of these two on Shenmue III, since its not until the very climax at the end of the sequel that the story elements are all tied up and become real interesting, leaving you wanting to play Shenmue III NOW. Oh!! And we finally know what Shenmue means!!

[MVS]

Originally posted by Nikorasu
Still at it Jezza?

MVS - the amount of times I've pointed this fact out to Jeremy (well twice actually) makes me think he'll never learn. It's amazing that even a talking to from Matt Van Stone himself isn't enough to convince him to try harder.

But then what do I know, I'm only a writer...

I have no idea who you are.

What's a 'Jezza'?

[Omni]

Originally posted by taloony
Jeremy, these guys are spot on with their criticisms. Ignore the rude shit, but read "between the lines" here man.

Indeed.

Read some CGW, Jeremy. Then emulate everything they do. Robert Coffey, in particular.

[Jeremy]

I would much rather continue with my way of writing than outright copy someone else's. The last thing I want to be is "the next _____ ______."

[Omni]

I'd rather be good at something than bad at something.

There's nothing wrong with borrowing elements from other writers.

But to each their own.