Another nomination for "best post ever".
Thank you.
...
- Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a bug girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
- Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
- Crying is blackmail.
- Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on thin one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just Say It !!!
- “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers almost every question.
- Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
- A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
- Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
- If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
- If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
- If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
- You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
- Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
- Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, neither do we.
- ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.
- If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
- If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
- If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
- When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
is fine. Really.
- Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
- You have enough clothes.
- You have to many shoes.
- I am in shape. Round is a shape.
- Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that; it’s like camping.
Former President Of The USA
Another nomination for "best post ever".
Thank you.
bastard of the new world order.
poop
This is classic, im printing it out and putting it on the wall near my desk..
TNL Legend.
"Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that; it’s like camping."
That's greatness.
Originally Posted by Doc Holliday
......!
Entertaining...
Freedom is a road seldom travelled by the multitude...
the original and best
I hate that shit. Girl falls in damn near half the time and blames me for it.- Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a bug girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Dippity-Do!
That was amazing.
or bust.
- If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
I fully support this.
-Kyo
I dont know whats more upsetting to me, the fact that I agree with more than half of those statements or the fact that I myself shy away from chicks that act that way.
shopping. *shudder*
[Insert large, loud, flashing signature here]
Top Dawg
I'm curious, why is it upsetting to agree with more than 1/2 of that??Originally posted by M
I dont know whats more upsetting to me, the fact that I agree with more than half of those statements or the fact that I myself shy away from chicks that act that way.
shopping. *shudder*
It's almost all true, with a touch of embellishment.
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