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Thread: Ladies: I'm not impressed by your PMS

  1. [Sean Connery]Not a fan of the ladies are you Xeno?[/Sean Connery]
    Quote Originally Posted by Dolemite
    I hear Balrog's moveset includes the Fried Chicken Right Cross, The Watermelon Wipeout Punch, and the Welfare Blaster.
    I SWEAR IF YOU BITCH ABOUT TWINSTICKS I WILL BREAK MY FOOT OFF IN YOUR ASS

  2. Haha, well...I looked online to see if there was any basis for Irritable Male Syndrome, and this is what I found:
    Husband Crabby, Sluggish, Low Sex Drive?
    Its Probably Male PMS
    Patrick Dickinson, MD, F.R.S.M.

    "Men have hormone problems just like women," declares Sharon Moxley, a certified aerobics trainer in Chicago, who often lectures on how men and women can better manage their hormones.

    Indeed, Gerald A. Lincoln, a researcher at the Medical Research Council's Human Reproductive Sciences Unit in Edinburgh, Scotland, recently coined the term "irritable male syndrome" (IMS) to mirror the infamous PMS in women. Lincoln says these hormone imbalances go far beyond the now recognized "male menopause" and can manifest at any time in life.

    "Men's hormones pulsate hourly, compared with every 28 days for women, " confirms Larrian Gillespie, MD, a retired Southern California urologist and author of The Gladiator Diet: How to Preserve Peak Health, Sexual Energy, and A Strong Body at Any Age.

    Lincoln first noticed IMS in Soay sheep, a hefty, curly-horned species given to noisy rutting rituals surpassing even Sunday football. In the autumn, he found, the rams' testosterone levels soar and they rut like mad. In winter, the levels sag and the rams lose interest in the opposite sex and are "nervous and withdrawn," striking out at other males irrationally. They also were more likely to throw out the rulebook and get hurt during such violent "discussions."

    "Irritability-anxiety-depression syndromes associated with withdrawal of sex steroid hormones are well recognized in the female," Lincoln notes in his study, which appeared in Reproduction, Fertility and Development. "The occurrence of a potentially similar behavioral syndrome following withdrawal of testosterone has received less attention." from "Symptoms of IMS"

    Obviously, such declines in testosterone can be predicted after prostate surgery. But according to Gillespie and Moxley, they can occur at any time in any male as a result of diet, environmental factors, or stress. "[Or] you can have a normal testosterone level and elevated estradiol -- the usable form of the so-called "female" hormone estrogen," points out Gillespie.

    A simple saliva test of your hormone levels may tell tell you the exact nature of the problem. Your total testosterone level should be 400 nanograms per deciliter, free, or unbound, testosterone 25-30 picograms per milliliter, and estradiol 15-20 ng/dl. "No one really knows the ideal level of testosterone," Gillespie adds. "The bound kind converts to estradiol, which can cause problems. It's the unbound kind that's gold."

    Of ten men exhibit the symptoms of elevated testosterone levels.The symptoms of elevated estradiol, she include swollen breasts and a bloated "fluffy" look, IMS symptoms include: exhaustion, unexplained weight changes, frequent urination, gallbladder or gut problems, hypoglycemia, snoring, incontinence, an elevated PSA, high cholesterol, bone loss, hair loss (besides male pattern), impaired thyroid function, loss of muscle or stamina, skin problems, softer erections -- and irritability. "Many of these men are overweight," Gillespie notes, and fat harbors estrogen.

    What Can You Do?

    If you think your hormones might be out of whack take a simple saliva test to see if yo uhave normal levels of tstosterone, DHEA< cortisol and progesterone, estradio. Based on these results you can make an informed decision to take some progesterone, another hormone that in some respects counters estradiol. Moxley recommends smoothing a nickel-sized dab (1/4 teaspoon) of progesterone cream on face and hands each day. Although increased estradiol usually is more of a problem than low testosterone, Gillespie says some men may need to supplement with testosterone. Increased estrogen levels indicate a serious risk is cancer. As high estogen levels are anindiction of susceptibility to all forms of cancer, especially prostate caner. Besides the estrogen, it is recommended a man or woman with these symptoms take DIM, a supplement derived from broccoli.

    Moxley also recommends a high-quality vitamins, increased calcium, magnesium, and beta sistosterol a food compound known to reduce prostate cancer risk and lower cholesterol among other benefits.

    After you have gotten used to these routines, take a look at your diet. "Sugar and dairy are usually culprits," Moxley says. An excess of meat, Gillespie says, may have helped IMS to develop. Meat contains a number of hormones, including estrogen. Prescription medications of many kinds also interfere with hormone receptors. And stress increases corticosteroids, which have been shown to depress testosterone. In other words, there are many roads to Rome -- and Rome is where gladiators live.

    Gladiators are fit, trim, and can wrestle tigers all day, Gillespie says -- thus her Gladiator Diet. She recommends men eat a diet that's 40% protein (watch those hormone-laced steaks and chickens), 35% low glycemic carbs (think squash and green veggies instead of Twinkies), and 25% fat. Of the latter, only 10% should be saturated fat, though you are allowed a teaspoon of unsalted butter a day just to jumpstart the gallbladder. Avoid licorice, though; even the amount in four black jellybeans can drop testosterone in a heartbeat, Gillespie notes.

    Take heart, men! It's easier for you to diet and lose pounds in addition to IMS -- because you have half as much leptin, a substance that causes fat to be stored as love handles. Exercise is good, too, of course, 30-40 minutes a day. Even that has advantages beyond the obvious -- Gillespie says leg presses dramatically increase blood flow to the head of the penis. Wives, Take Note

    Men go to the doctor 27% fewer times than women. Most wives don't need the National Institutes of Health to tell them this. "Many wives start this program," Moxley confides. "They may apply the progesterone cream to their husbands during a massage. Once the guy sees the results, it's amazing what he will do for himself."

    Most men, Gillespie advises, would benefit from getting a baseline reading on their testosterone and estradiol at age 35." You don't have to wait until experiencing a symptom or erectile dysfunction, she adds. Many with IMS manage in that department fine -- it's before and after that's not what their mates would want it to be.

    I don't know, but sometimes I believe that guys have it and I mean in general...I think it's pretty safe to say that hormones in guys change as well as women.
    Quote Originally Posted by nocturne View Post
    Hooooot! Fuck you. Hooooot!
    Quote Originally Posted by YellerDog View Post
    Pulp or die, motherfuckers. Fresh squeezed or bust.

  3. bah, it's all nonsence. I've met girls who are down right plesent while PMSing and I know I've never been effected by IMS.
    Currently Playing: Final Fantasy V Pixel Remaster (PC), Let's Build a Zoo (PC) & Despot's Game (PC)

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  4. More blood is darker, right? Like, if someone were to hit an artery, the blood wouldn't be bright red but a much darker shade? Maybe that really dark blood looked blue to someone, and that's how the myth came to be.
    pwned by Ivan

  5. Blood from the liver is almost black. FYI of course.
    o_O

  6. Xbox 360 I

    Quote Originally Posted by Xeno Gigas
    bah, it's all nonsence. I've met girls who are down right plesent while PMSing and I know I've never been effected by IMS.
    I dunno, I think that its cool that I have a "get out of jail free card" like all of womenhood in general.
    Stay away from me! Im I.M.S.ing!
    Quote Originally Posted by Dolemite
    I hear Balrog's moveset includes the Fried Chicken Right Cross, The Watermelon Wipeout Punch, and the Welfare Blaster.
    I SWEAR IF YOU BITCH ABOUT TWINSTICKS I WILL BREAK MY FOOT OFF IN YOUR ASS

  7. Quote Originally Posted by IronPlant
    3. Where are the real comericals for this? Were is that slutty ugly girl that slept with half the football team back in highschool, where is her comerical? "whats got you down Sandy Sue?" "I've got herpies in my mouth" "how'd that happen Sandy?" "Brand the QB had herpies on his dick, or maybe it was Jack, or Simon." "you don't know?" "Well im pretty sure its Brand, becuase he is the only guy I only sucked off this week. The rest I had full intercorse with, and have yet to get infected *there*." "Well be troubled no more Sandy Sue, do we have a product for you, Its VagaBlast 2, the oral contraceptive. May you no longer be bothered with the pains of mouth herpies." "YAY ^_^, I can continue with my meaningless life of sex with people who don't know me, don't care about me and can't go long enough to ever make me reach orgasim, Thank you Vagablast man."
    You'll never be able to top that post, IronPlant. Good work, I almost crapped myself on that one

  8. #78
    Quote Originally Posted by kabuki
    You'll never be able to top that post, IronPlant. Good work, I almost crapped myself on that one
    It's the best when you imagion it with the guy who did the comericals from Ren and Stimpy.

  9. Quote Originally Posted by M
    also, text books and the like use blue just to represent deoxyied (sp?) blood.
    It was a joke, I was making a stupid statement. It's deoxygenated BTW.
    Quick zephyrs blow, vexing daft Jim.

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