Movies that were straight up junk..

[JMET]

I rented some low budget films this past week and was shocked at how terrible some were, ill add my impressions after some thought.

In the meantime name some of the most low budget shit youve accidently picked up at rental.

No TNL famous wrecking balls please, as in dont wreck this thread with a movie that doesnt fit..



Absolon: A movie that sounded good from the description since I tend to like these kind of movies, has 2-3 actors I like in Lambert, Lou Diamond Phillips, Ron Perlman.

"Storyboard artist David Barto directs the sci-fi action thriller Absolon, released straight-to-video following a very brief television premiere. In the near future, a virus has killed billions of people. The remaining humans rely on a drug called "Absolon" in order to survive. Norman Scott (Christopher Lambert) is a police detective investigating the death of a doctor who may have found the cure. Inevitably, Norman discovers an evil conspiracy. Ron Perlman plays the evil villain leader Murchison, Lou Diamond Phillips plays the evil thug Walters, and Kelly Brook plays the pretty girl Claire."



So what went wrong? Well for starts Lambert cant act for shit.. we know this... however he seems to take it to an all new low in this movie.. the whole film is dry with no emotion at all.

The editing looked like my sister did it on her P150 with Premier 2... including the mistakes a noob would make.

The special effects and cut scenes LITERALY look like they came off my Sega-CD.. dark, dingy, and grainy as hell. Honestly the whole damn movie looked like it was shot with my 1998 Sony Handy Cam...

Perlman wasnt used at all, he was the bad guy ring leader who was a pansy fag ass who whined more then anything else.

Anyways even though I loved the whole idea this movie simply executed it literally, I give it a 1 out of 5 corn poppers or something. What are your thoughts or what stinkers do you have?

[sethsez]

Mountain of the Cannibal God.

It's basically the same thing as Cannibal Holocaust, just with worse acting, less plot, slower pacing, and less convincing effects. I didn't even think that was possible until I saw this pile.

[NightWolve]

I caught Absolon on SCI-FI awhile back. Wasn't that bad, but yeah, low-budget all the way. Though, it already lost points with me in depicting a future of having local cops submit to the jurisdiction of the "U.N. World Police..." The mere concept frightens me =\.

Anyway, what comes to mind atm is Highlander 2. I mean, I like Christopher Lambert alot, but the way that movie started off was just ridiculous. Kills a bunch of guys, then just grabs Virginia Madsen off the street and starts making out is about all I remember . That first scene just seemed like the most ackward and oddest attempt at an action movie I've ever seen. Very forgettable and disappointing overall.

[Despair]

JMET - Great choice of Absolon. I saw it on SciFi channel too, and man, it was JUNK with capital J

[JMET]

I mean really, my wife and I constantly rent new low budget horror or sci fi movies and im fine with them but this was.

I still need to watch Cabin and that new Mexico whatever movie with Banderras..

[Mzo]

Does it HAVE to be low budget? I mean, Wing Commander. Come on! Let me say it!

[Error]

Ok, Once upon a Time in Mexico might be lower budget than most movies, but it's nothing near Junk status. All I'm gonna say.

[g0zen]

Faust - Utter crap movie. I mean, fucking garbage.

[BioMechanic]

Blood Thirst: Legend of the Chupacabras.

How this "film" got released will forever be a mystery. It looks like it was shot by a retarded four-year-old using a 1973 camcorder. Everyone in the "cast" is obviously reading cue cards. The entire "soundtrack" has three chords in it. The "special effects" consisted of chalk, a Sharpie, plastic Halloween fangs, and orange food coloring. I have no idea what the plot was. There was infinitely less skill involved here than in 99.9999% of the clips on AFV. I cannot find the words to express how truly repugnant this "film" is. My wife & I love bad horror films too, but this was absolutely insulting. We paid $1 for the rental, and I will forever regret it. I implore you, if you value your eyesight and sanity, please stay the hell away from this diseased product.

[kingoffighters]

Battlefield Earth and Gigli