Eating coins will stop you from pooping

[Tracer]

AWESOME.

Problem is, people would be all "d00d wtf they mispeled incest on my metal chipz."

Holy Shit that's funny.

[Korian]

I've heard about the Gerbils before from a friend, I also
seem to remember seeing some horrific picture of a jelly
jar up a man's rectum. How it got there I have no clue?

[arjue]

USE YOUR IMAGINATION.


The thing that kills me with that pick is the arrows. as if its not half fucking obvious where the coins are.

[Dyne]

there was a chick from india on ripleys that had a 12 pound hairball in her stomache. her family always saw her chewing on her hair and one day she started getting pains. finally they opened her up and the hairball filled up her entire stomache, so when they pulled it out it was shaped just like it. fuckin morons.

[Eight One]

Flaming Projectile Gerbil -- Actual article from the LA Times

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the Gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.

Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner Andrew (Kiki) Farnom, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in." he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking that the light might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out of the tubing, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball." Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnom suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

[Nomi]

... That's so hilariously pathetic. I'm still amazed (yes, my faith in humanity isn't totally dead yet) that stuff like this happens.

HMMMMM. Let's stick a rodent up someone's ass, and then light a match! Whooo!

[Rocca]

needles? wtf

[soundwave]

If I was that crazy guy I would've gone to the nearest supermarket and taken a huge coin laden dump in their Coinstar(tm) machine.

The gerbils/animals thing is called felching--South Park even did an episode on it.

[Jeremy]

Yes, poor Mr. Slave. Now that cement thing was quite possibly the funniest thing I've read all day, until I read Burg's "d00d" thing.

[Werewolf]

Not only will eating coins stop you from pooping, but from a investment point of view it gives a horrible return from you're ass-ets