richard simmons cited for (misdemeanor) assault!

[epmode]

big news, everyone!

transcribed (thank me later,) from the star ledger, a semi-shitty local paper:

/*
Alleged slap may not work out for fitness king

Flamboyant fitness guru Richard Simmons allegedly slapped a man in an airport who was poking fun at his exercise videos.

Simmons, 55, known for his tank tops and outrageous manner, was ticketed by police for misdemeanor assault after allegedly striking the man across the face while in line at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport.

The alleged victim "apparently said 'Hey everybody, it's Richard Simmons, let's drop our bags and rock to the '50s,' " said Sgt. Lauri Williams, a reference to a series of his well-known videos. "Mr. Simmons took offense and said he had to (slap) him."

The man, whose name was not immediately available, told police that he wanted to press charges against Simmons, who was cited and allowed to board a plane to Las Vegas.

Police said Simmons cooperated fully at the scene.
*/

i don't know what to say, aside from the fact that i would have killed to have been there.

[voltz]

[Zerodash]

Seriously, what kind of pussy presses assault charges against Richard Simmons? If he ever slapped me, I'd laugh my ass off and walk away.

[voltz]

I wouldn't walk away, but I'll still be next to him laughing.

[Korian]

Is Richard Simmons gay? I've only heard hersay.

[voltz]

Yes, he came out of the closet almost a decade ago.

[Korian]

He did?

[Mzo]

lollers

That guy is pretty funny. Simmons should have laughed.

[Korian]

Those Dolls Simmons sells are creepy.

[Cheebs]

Seriously, what kind of pussy presses assault charges against Richard Simmons? If he ever slapped me, I'd laugh my ass off and walk away.

Seriously, what kind of pussy presses assault charges for being slapped by anybody?