This happened at least seven years ago...
I was at the Water Tower Place on Michigan Ave. (downtown Chicago), just walking around between stores. It was early, like 9 am or so, so there's not too many people inside. I wander away from my Mom and sister and make my way to some other store for a minute.
Then, some old man in a business suit walks up from behind me, places his hands on my shoulders, leans in next to me, and states:
"If it walks like a jag-off and talks like a jag-off, it must be a jag-off!"
and walks away.
I stood in place for five minutes before resuming my intended activities...
Oh, another vote of mine (from one of my sister's friends, nearly a decade ago):
"What's the point of music without words?"
ΔOX�
I was talking on the bus with this guy I knew from economics class. I made some offhand remark about my girlfriend, and he responds, deadly serious, with: "I don't date girls because I have too many friends." I was too dumbstruck to even utter a "Whaaa~~?!"
Servant of the Warsmen
"Why should we bother to save the animal species? God will just send us more!" -- Overheard in a college biology course. Sadly, this was the course for BIOLOGY MAJORS.
(This one guy at Hollywood Video had been hassling me and a friend about anime/Cowboy Bebop for more than 10 minutes, even though we had both made it clear we didn't want to talk with him. He starts ringing us up and he won't shut up about some blood-and-guts anime)
Friend: "I don't really watch that kind of stuff, I'm more into shoujo anime."
Nutball: "Shoujo anime?"
Friend: "Um, yeah, girl's anime."
Nutball: "Oh, you mean like anime porn?"
Sphere: *herniates himself in an attempt to supress laughter*
Friend: *face of mixed horror and incredulous disbelief* "Uh, no."
Nutball: "Oh, you mean stuff about lesbians?"
Sphere: *howls with laughter, thus ending the conversation*
THE VOID
my sister insists that "Jarded" is a word.
okay, one time my boyfriend and I were walking from the parking lot to class, and this girl screamed "SHUT UP YOU DAMN SOFTBALL PLAYER!!!"
I mean, its fairly obvious she was pissed at this softball player, but SOFTBALL? what the hell? it was just an odd thing to hear someone scream.
Originally Posted by dechecho
fashionable fall headwear
Does metal conduct heat?- friend's brother, before grabbing a hot pan.
This has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I was at some distant relation's house for a short visit during Christmas. Some mother was saying about her preteen daughter, "she likes listening to the black people, but I just don't like it when black people sing".
pwned by Ivan
unplayable
HA! its funny...because its TRUE!
no wait, its neither true nor funny.
i was working as a lot attendant at a parking garage and a bum came up toe booth i was sitting in and said: "Tiptoe through the tulips, Tiny Tim" and walked away.
the other night i was watching something on TV (i forget what it was, but its not relevant to the comment) and some guy walked into the room and started watching. out of left field he commented about some character on the tube: "hmmm, he's like some sorta Night Cop."
i dunno wtf that was all about!
chase the devil
Today an coworker asked me if I was an "AIMish" I guess he was confused by my goatee...
Sausage
Damn, that sounds exactly like the family in the movie American History X.
Cotton-headed Ninny Muggins
"If it walks like a jag-off and talks like a jag-off, it must be a jag-off!"
You wouldn't happen to dress like a rapper would you? With like, the silly big pants and the underwear showing? Or the socks in the pants?
If you dress completely normal, then he was just a crazy man but if you have the rap thing going.. well then it could explain a lot about that. Think about it, old men want people to act proper.
Anyways, I don't know if you are or not, I'm just asking.
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