My Entry for Rising Stars of Manga 4

[Mzo]

I'm going to have to agree on the font... I don't know what alternatives you had, but it's really the one thing I didn't dig about the manga. Your art is pro level fo sho, though. I think you just need to get your work out there, you'll find interested parties easy.

Oh, and... would you mind if I...?

[rezo]

My main guess is that it just wasn't "manga" enough. I mean, I tried to write it with the mentality, pacing, and tone of a manga, but not necessarily with the standard art stye.

The style fits in nicely with a lot of video game designs, so it's not really out of place for what someone would see in a manga. But there could have been an infinite number of possible reasons why it didn't make it, from them thinking it was perfect manga style with a sucky story, to not liking the font or paneling or something. I wouldn't think too much about it,simply because you have no clue at all of what the actual reason was.

Your comic is fine though. Only criticism I have offhand is that action shots look pretty plain in a sideview, and if you're using speed lines, use them on the character's body and backgrounds too, instead of just placing them behind everything. And it did seem like just a little piece of a larger story, with the other character that showed up being an just an introduction.

Also, I called home after I saw this topic and apparently I was defeated as well. My comic is here: http://www.ribaldyouth.com/defeat. Didn't think it was worth making another topic for =|

[Mzo]

The rising stars of manga suck. Screw them.

[Dolemite]

Now, now, Mzo.

There's always the next contest (I believe the deadline is March 16th, 2005)...and I'll be ready.

[Dolemite]

Also, I called home after I saw this topic and apparently I was defeated as well. My comic is here: http://www.ribaldyouth.com/defeat. Didn't think it was worth making another topic for =|

Nice work...let's get into comment mode...

First of all, I love that you did everything by hand (at least it looks that way). No offence to Furyfox's submission, as it's beautiful, but I'm more of an old school artist and I think FF went a little overboard with the Photoshopping (that's just my personal taste, however, it still looks great). My RSOM 3 entry was all done by hand (except for the font) and my RSOM 5 is all being done by hand as well. I like the shading on your story, especially.

However, there are some flaws in your art style...the hand written font goes too much in the opposite direction as Furyfox's overally mechanical font...it looks somewhat sloppy and amateurish. Also, your proportion and perspective on your characters is pretty off. However, don't feel bad...you just need to pratice. I had the same problems with my submission as well. But I've praticed a lot and have improved, and the added time I have to work has helped as well. For my RSOM 3 entry I was penciling and inking a page a day...now I have enough time to devote well over a week to each page.

As for the writing...it was actually pretty amusing. I think you should have gone a little farther, however. I thought the main character was going to go off the deep end and and turn into a psycho or something after he told the girls that he wasn't giving them a choice about going to dinner, but the story just started meandering after that, and it ended on an odd note. Still, it was interesting. Good work.

[mollipen]

My attempt didn't get far. I got my storyline done and did the entire comic in my craptastic art style (so that my artist would have a basis to do his final art off of), but my artist wimped out on me. He just couldn't get the motivation to do it, so it went nowhere. So, I'm either going to have to get him to get motivated, or find a different artist.

[ChaoofNee]

Here and there the expression on some of the character's faces was a little wonky, but hey, it happens sometimes.

That's half the reason I liked FF's comic, actually. 'Specially that image of the main character in the middle of page six.

[SHiNgO]

word bubbles sometimes gives us an idea of the tone of voice the character is speaking in (so does the font). Those boxy word bubbles made it seem like they would talk like robots or something. Also, I do agree about the facial expression and there's not enough variation of it

[Opaque]

That was the best thing I've seen in a long time, and I'm not just saying that.

It was funny, amazingly drawn, and over all just well done.

"now you've made me..."

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

"that you?"

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr

"no"

HUGE FUCKING DEMON THING

I loved it. If you make more, plase share them with us.

[ChaoofNee]

I loved it. If you make more, plase share them with us.

I concur.
Extra wonky on the faces, too, please.