Spreading the Gospel...

[Mzo]

Oh holy jumping Mother Theresa in a sidecar with chocolate jimmies and a lobster bib.

This site is incredibly amazing, and MAD, MAD props go to kidnemo for finding it in the Bullshido forums.

I'm still going through it, but please, let us post our favorite passages and spread the gospel, brothers.

[Bacon McShig]

Oh holy jumping Mother Theresa in a sidecar with chocolate jimmies and a lobster bib.

Somebody reads Sam & Max.

[StriderKyo]

Why is that dragon humping a giant penis rock?

[AstroBlue]

Jesus loves you..... even if you're really a squirrel trapped in a human's body that wants to fuck dolphins

[StriderKyo]

Why is that dragon humping a giant penis rock?

I too know the shame and anger about being trapped in a powerless and ugly human body.

Nevermind.

[mollipen]

Well...

Q: Did you just say that God could do a shapeshift? I thought God didn't allow that kind of thing!
A: Yes, I did say that God could perform a shape-shift on someone. You forget that God is generous and kind. He knows our sufferings, and He will satisfy our longings to become powerful nonhuman beings if we remain faithful to Him. Read Psalm 37:4. God will reward His children with whatever delights them, but when He feels it is the right time.

[AstroBlue]

Doesn't the Bible also talk about humans being created in his form, being his most noble creation, and all the animals are just there for us to look at and eat?

[Tracer]

FROM THE BOOK OF HOMOSEXUALITY:

However, liking gay people does not mean that I condone their behavior. I myself have had homoerotic fantasies, but I know its wrong, so I try to avoid them, though sometimes I fail. Part of being a Christian is to recognize sin for what it is and to take a stand against it. So no, I do not believe that homosexual activity is okay.

Thus it was spoken.

[mollipen]

Okay...

I don't hate gay people. How could I, when they are suffering from a spiritual affliction that prevents them from having an enjoyable relationship with a human being of the opposite sex?Most gay people didn't choose to have homosexual temptations. They can choose not to give into the homosexual temptations, but humans are just that. Human. This makes them, to me, just as tragic as we shifter folk. I have four friends who are gay and I love them like brothers.

If homosexuals have a spiritual affliction, that can be fixed by Jesus, that causes them to not enjoy a relationship with a human being of the opposite sex, what about his little "affliction" that causes him to not enjoy a relationship with A HUMAN?! Shouldn't Jesus be fixin' up that little problem as well?

Oh, and I love how when he's describing what a dragon is, it's a happy herbivore.

[Mzo]

Q: How do I achieve a berserk state?
A: Entering a berserk state is not easy. The easiest and safest way would be to take a walk down a lonely trail in a city park. I prefer city parks because there is a chance of seeing criminals and thus I can get more easily frightened. Country trails have the advantage of greater privacy, connection with nature, and deadly black bears.
Walk slowly and take in whatever scenery the moon reveals. Imagine all the wild beasts lurking in the darkness just beyond the bushes. Imagine who might walk past you when you turn that corner. Imagine what spirits may be accompanying you down the trail.
Once you are sufficiently creeped out, dart in a straight line into the woods. Don't make a mental map. Feeling lost adds to the atmosphere. But don't go in too far because you want to be able to find your way back.
Now that you are in the deep woods, stop where you are and take in the scenery again. Your heart is racing. When you get the impulse, suddenly start praying for a shape-shift. Imagine that there is nothing stopping you from receiving a shift. Allow your body to take on whatever postures you allow it.
You'll now find yourself 'transforming' into the animal you wish to be. The reason you need absolute privacy is both to avoid distraction and to protect other people, just in case you are the type of person who freaks out during shifts.
Heed this warning: If you are the sort of person who can't control a berserk state, don't try this. Also, dress appropriately and equip yourself for the journey, in case you DO become lost. Try not to enter ruined structures in case they collapse. Oh, and one other thing: Avoid haunted areas for going berserk in. Ghosts are very real and like their privacy.