Stupid things that take you out of a movie

[Dolemite]

I'm not talking about silly goofs that hardcore geeks dedicate whole websites to pointing out in great detail. I realize that moviemakers are capable of mistakes, and I don't really care if a beer bottle was three-quarters full in one shot and half full in the next, or if a blood stain was on the guy's left or right shoulder. I'm talking about stupid things that just don't happen in real life…things that just blatantly stand out and serve to remind you that it's just a movie.

Examples- I'm watching some movie. These two girls get off work at a diner. The one girl gets her bike off the bike rack- oh, wait, it's not locked or chained up or anything, she just removes it and starts riding. Granted, the movie took place in some backwoods hellhole, but still.

Or how about the bit in movies (every movie, actually) where someone gets shot or stabbed and dies instantly? Seriously, I saw a movie the other night where a guy was stabbed once in the stomach and dropped right to the floor and was instantaneously dead, not a groan or anything. Now, in real life very few things can kill you that fast. Crap like that just sanitizes the movie and desensitizes the audience into believing that death is quick, painless, and no big deal.

That's one of the reasons why Clint Eastwood's Unforgiven is so cool. Clint snipes a guy in the gut, and he slowly dies over the course of several minutes, crying and screaming all the while. Gritty realism there, and that's why it was such a powerful scene. Unforgiven has been called an anti-violence movie, and part of that is because Clint actually showed you the consequences of death and killing, instead of keeping it as a neat little affair.

Of course, let's not forget that any cinematic car accident results in a HUGE explosion. Even if the car just turns over once.

Oh, and women always fuck with their bras on. And they'll do it five minutes after meeting you, right after the first kiss. But they're nice girls, not whores.

Anyone else have peeves about movies?

[FX]

Hmm. Last time I remember is Street Fighter the Live movie.

The only thing that kept me there was Raul Julia.

Predictability - when you can tell who the villian is going to be outright...I think that's my #1 pet peeve in films. That's why I love movies that make you think a particular person is the "bad guy", only to throw a curve ball at you, and it's someone that you wouldn't suspect. The audience reaction when this happens is usually pretty good. And it keeps you on your toes.

Outlandish gunfights - You mean to tell me, that there are 40 badguys firing at the protagonist, and not ONE of them can hit him until the end of the movie? That doesn't stop the "hero" from being able to pick off every one of them at his leisure.

Annoying characters with stupid catchphrases.

Main character doesn't look like he's "into" the movie - Prime example, Blade 3. Snipes lookes like he was sick all throughout the film, and he didn't show much enthusiasm like he did in the first 2 movies. I'm sure he got sucked into a 3rd movie, and wasn't happy about it. But sometimes, you can just *TELL* when a cast doesn't enjoy the movie.

(too much) plot convenience - Yes. All of this will happen at the same time, no matter HOW unlikely it is. I don't mind a *LITTLE* plot convenience (it's to be expected, after all), but when EVERYTHING just works out in the hero's favor, it gets boring.

[Dolemite]

Skinny girls w/huge tits that will kick the asses of multiple men at a time, ala Jessica Biel or Angelina Jolie.

Doesn't mean I don't like to watch all that flesh jiggle, but whatever.

[Javon_McCloud]

On a similar note to your car explosion problem, it also always seems like no matter what a car hits, it flies into the air usually causing it to roll over and explode. Car hits pile of rubble and rather than just crashing, it flips on its side flying through the air and explodes.

[FX]

Speaking of explosions, did I mention that part on XXX when the pile of logs explodes as Vin skis by it? Yeah. I hate that.

[Dolemite]

People who think the bad guy is dead and just leave him alone, instead of dropping a fucking cinderblock on his head just to be sure.

[FX]

...OH and KIDS THAT DON'T LISTEN! Tell them not to do something, and they do it. I know it's realistic, but it's even more annoying in the movies.

Exp: War of the Worlds - 1.) his son wants to go off with the military and fight the aliens, and he also wants to get a closer look on the battlefield. Now this also goes under another category, because he apparently get blown to hell in a huge fire that consumed most of the battlefield...ONLY TO TURN UP AT HIS MOM'S HOUSE AT THE END OF THE MOVIE. Everyone was like "What the shit is this turd doing here?!"

[Dolemite]

Speaking of explosions, did I mention that part on XXX when the pile of logs explodes as Vin skis by it? Yeah. I hate that.

XXX was possibly the most retarded, braindead movie ever made. Shame, up until that point I actually kinda liked Vin Diesel.

[FX]

People who think the bad guy is dead and just leave him alone, instead of dropping a fucking cinderblock on his head just to be sure.

They will *NEVER* learn. I'm telling you.

XXX was possibly the most retarded, braindead movie ever made. Shame, up until that point I actually kinda liked Vin Diesel.

I agree. It was going to say, "hey idiots, come see lots of explosions"! You're brain-dead and you'll pay anyway!

*I saw it for free, and I wanted to charge my FRIEND money for making me watch it*

[Javon_McCloud]

XXX was possibly the most retarded, braindead movie ever made. Shame, up until that point I actually kinda liked Vin Diesel.

That brings up another terrible thing, the hero always being able to out run natrual disasters or explosions. From XXX to Mission Impossible to dozens of other examples...No matter how fast you are snowboarding down a mountain, you can't outrun the avalance.