The retail whore drama thread

[Chux]

I have some funtastic stories from the Annapolis Mall.

While walking down the aisle this little kid (Under 2 years) popped a squat and shit clean in the middle of the mall. Apparantly some dude has jacked off in front of the Express store while looking at the girls working there. Josh spit in some kids sample cup, but the kid's dad was a cop or something. (I don't know, I was on Vacation and Korly deemed that important enough to call me up on it) I once had an old lady badger me and my employee's because we didn't give her enough attention, she claimed that we were too busy checking out the young girls, and that she knew what goes on in my stand. An employee started to curse her out and I just let him run with it, gave her the smoothy for free and told her to move on.

[Dyne]

Two more Software Etc stories.



I was putting the cases back on the wall and something grabbed onto my leg. I look down and this small boy is wrapped around my leg with his face in my crotch mumbling out “daddy daddy”. Finally the father comes around, red in the face and I just ask him “happen a lot?”



Me and my buddy were closing up one night. We had the gate halfway down since we were bringing in the hall signage. This kid is making a beeline for the gate which just happens to be low enough for him to hit his head. My buddy warned him 3 times, yet sure enough he smacks into it. Didn’t cry…..nothing. about a half hour later we hear a woman SCREAMING. She’s like “you hit my baby in the head with the gate and didn’t even care” and went on and on. So I calmly asked the lady why her 7 year old was running around a mall at closing time by himself. We thought that was the end of it. Sure enough she called the DM (who we all know ALWAYS buckle to the customer). Except this time he asked her the same thing we did. Stupid cunt.

[Beefy Hits]

Has anybody dated a retail co-worker? How did that turn out?

[Chux]

I haven't, but I've had friends that do it, and it's down right atrocious.

Seriously, it's like you never have time apart which will drive you fucking bonkers.

[Mykozo]

Yup. Dating a co-worker, no matter what industry you work in, is asking for trouble. I suppose it wouldn't be the same if you work in different departments of the same company, but other than that, don't do it.

[Dolemite]

I used to work at a deli back when I was college and the owner would leave me there alone for hours at a time. I only 'officially' rung up roughly half the customers. I also gave myself (and my friends) a lot of free cold cuts. I got so overboard with stealing I wondered how my boss never caught on but she never did.

I also used to work at a dry cleaner that was right next to a funeral parlor. Some biker up and died and they had the service there, so we had bikers milling about on the main street in front of the store. These three (actually pretty hot) biker chicks were standing there wearing denium vests that said "Property of Lizard" on the back. You go, Lizard-man.

I was in the back of the store stocking stuff with another employee and some mentally disabled guy came back and asked if we liked piggy back rides. I forget exactly what happened after that, but it ended with the guy jumping on my buddy's back (the disabled guy probably was twice his weight) yelling, "Just as friends! Just as friends!" before jumping off and running out of the store. True story.

lol That's awesome.

The retrarded and malls go together like peanut butter and bananas (or whatever the fuck you think goes together). The mall by me (Sunrise Mall) has these two fat, black, crosseyed, retarded twin brothers who show up every day in shirts and ties,and they walk around patroling or something. Sometimes they hand out flyers for the sports store by Macy's. They think they work there, but they don't. They even think they own a few stores (like Gamestop), but suprise, they don't either. And these guys are both there, every single fucking day, without fail. It's a riot. From what I hear, they used to round up shopping carts at the supermarket down the road and they didn't work there, either.

[napalm]

The only job I've had other than working contruction has been at Cold Stone. They had a new shop opening up a 5 minute drive from my house, and tons of my friends were applying so we all figured it would be an awesome job; everyone that works there looks happy as hell, right? Wrong.

I can honestly say that I have never done anything worse than working at that hell hole. The owner would understaff the building to maximize profits while there was a constant line out the door, and we had this crazy manager. Her name was Angel, she was a little short (like less than 5') skinny girl with a high pitched voice and a lisp. She would always come in the store crying, and she would always try to hang out with us. She also tried to sleep with me at Warped Tour... ew.

I got fired before I had a chance to quit, because everytime I said something as harmless as "suck" and a customer heard me, they would report me. After I got reported twice, I let "fuck" slip out, and one of my loyal, trustworthy co-workers supposedly called the owner at 11:30 at night because he "couldn't sleep" thinking about what I had said.

Now I go visit my friends there every few weeks and just eat every fucking thing in the back. I guess they also caught the boss looking at porn in the back. Fuck Cold Stone.

[Jetman]

Fuck Cold Stone.

Isnt that the place where they try to sing you a song for a tip while they are preparing your ice cream or something?

[napalm]

Yes, Cold Stone builds the illusion that we are a happy go lucky group who would love nothing more than to prepare you ice cream, and if you give us a dollar, we'll sing like your little slaves. You get fired if you dont act happy.

[Chux]

I've had people that worked for me, that worked at Cold Stone, maybe you should stop being a dumb bitch and you'll have fun.

Seriously, they said they enjoyed their employment there.

Granted they were girls, and they probably like ice cream and shit like Freddy Prinze Jr... maybe it was a good thing you didn't fit in.