Possible to be just friends with an Ex?

[Grave]

If her relationship is really bothering you it's just not worth it. If she starts jabbering about how in love she is, and you (justifiably) get pissed because she's stupid, not because you're jealous, you'll STILL be perceived as jealous, because her brain is going to interpret your behavior as evidence of your jealousy and NOT her stupidity. And if you're jealous, mission accomplished. No need to spread the legs.

The only way you win here is if you act like you don't give a fuck, and unless you're a budding DeNiro, the only way you're acting like you don't give a fuck is if you don't give a fuck.

My advice? Bang some chick before you head out to meet her.

*****

DISCLAIMER: I'm not fronting that I would always do exactly what I advise other guys (or girls, a lot of relationship advice is unisex)...and I absolutely have not always done this in the past. Nor am I saying this is always easy. (Although finding some random chick to bang is.) I'm just saying this is what you SHOULD do...and what people have told me in the past when I was being a blatant or even borderline pussy, and should I wind up in a vulnerable situation in the future, what I hope people would tell me again.

Yes to all of the above.

If you can't carry yourself around her with dignity, you need to cut your losses and get the fuck away. If you're still hung up on her, you will inevitably walk away miserable every time. Don't torture yourself, and don't give her what she wants.

I'd only consider one ex a friend, and we only really started talking again after two years. If you legitimately want to be friends with her and are not just desperately searching for an in to fuck her again, two years is a pretty good time frame. You'll fuck other people, you'll have plenty of time to get her out of your system, and it'll seem ridiculous that you got so bent out of shape. Always does.

[Jetman]

And yeah,Grave, that two year rule is looking better and better,

[ChaoofNee]

You don't seem happy and she seems like a bitch. Why are you doing this?

I mean, I'm friends with the recent ex, who ended up dating a friend of mine after all was said and done.

[burgundy]

Im thinking, I should go out drinking with the roommates and not answer my phone when she calls.

Are you an alcoholic? Can you only turn down free beer with other beer?

PROTIP: When the phone rings, you don't have to answer it. No matter what you're doing, or even if you're doing nothing. Or you could just be decent and call her to cancel.

I mean, do what you want, but basically, the underlying issue is that you're overthinking everything. The more you act like every act is a crucial move in this game of get in the pants again, the less you win.

[aren]

I'm going out with my first and only gf. She broke up with me after we went out for 2 months in 2005. I hung around her friends and the same area she did at school. She got with a guy (one of my ex friends) but he broke up with her. Towards the end of the year/start of 2006, we hooked up a long until we made it official. We just picked a random day and said that was our day. Currently we've been going out for 7 months.

In my experience, you usually stay friends with an ex because you're still not over her and you're hoping that it'll work out again. If that's the case, you got to be patient and keep calm whenever she mentions another guy (her bf or whatever). Then, maybe one day it'll work again.

If you just want to stay friends, good luck. You're going to get annoyed a lot whenever she mentions any other guy. If you can handle that, then by all means stay friends with her. Just don't let it get to you.

[burgundy]

Or you could find someone else to be friends with or to offer you vagina. Just saying.

The nice thing about vaginas is that every girl has one. Not coincidentally, the nice thing about girls is that every one has a vagina.

[Jetman]

Are you an alcoholic? Can you only turn down free beer with other beer?

.....I'm thinking....could I get back to you on this one? Seems like a trick question,

I mean, do what you want, but basically, the underlying issue is that you're overthinking everything. The more you act like every act is a crucial move in this game of get in the pants again, the less you win.

Its not even that. I just need to come to terms with the fact that some ex girlfriends may make good friends and others just dont. I have other girls for friends and pussy doesnt always have to be a prospect, I just enjoy hanging out with them. I was just curious to see if other TNL'ers had just cut off ex's completely or what, as thats what I used to do, and looks like I made a mistake in changing my habits.

[Satsuki]

I ran into one of my exes today at school and it TERRIFIED me. I'd never run into an ex so abruptly before. Friends? ha. At least, not with that one.

however, i can see being friendly-ish with some exes. Depends on them, really. For instance, did you dump them because they are a complete loser? If so, you probably don't need complete losers in your life as friends.

[Gohron]

I'm going out with my first and only gf. She broke up with me after we went out for 2 months in 2005. I hung around her friends and the same area she did at school. She got with a guy (one of my ex friends) but he broke up with her. Towards the end of the year/start of 2006, we hooked up a long until we made it official. We just picked a random day and said that was our day. Currently we've been going out for 7 months.

In my experience, you usually stay friends with an ex because you're still not over her and you're hoping that it'll work out again. If that's the case, you got to be patient and keep calm whenever she mentions another guy (her bf or whatever). Then, maybe one day it'll work again.

If you just want to stay friends, good luck. You're going to get annoyed a lot whenever she mentions any other guy. If you can handle that, then by all means stay friends with her. Just don't let it get to you.

Was she impressed when you crashed her car?


In my opinion Jetman you should back off for awhile, it seems like you're still a little torn-up and you and I have talked about both of our experiences with girls when it comes to that. It's no big deal to be torn up, you can't exactly will yourself to get over somebody, but you can stay away from them and do your best to keep them off your mind.

I'm friends with an ex or two but not really from any significant relationships and things were a little awkward immediatly there after.

[Chux]

You have already lost. If you're going in even thinking a little bit like this she's already won. Burg is right, she knows what she's got, she knows you want it, and she's stringing you along. For you right now, it's not possible for a positive outcome if you hang out with her right now. You'll either knock boots and see her as weekend pussy, or she doesn't give it up and you get bitter.

Find something else for you to do.

For what it's worth I'm alright with people I've dated before, because I'm a grownup, you pussies.