The Divorce Thread

[Fe 26]

Women can be incredibly fucked up. My last girlfriend was a co-worker, things were pretty good but at the time I dated her I felt like a loser, drove a crappy car, seemed stuck in a shit job. So I decided to reverse things, work my ass off to get out of the runt. So I made the mistake of suggesting a break while I got things together, tried to get back into artwork, sell off some gaming stuff to get a downpayment for a car, etc. Her entire personality changed, every comment was a jab or a threat. After seeing this, I ended it, the result was the same treatment when we were alone but she would tell everyone at work how much she loved me and didn't understand why we couldn't be together. Everyone seemed pissed at me, all the while I spent a entire summer working toward my goals, and slowly started feeling like I was at fault, that it was rude to push her away, and maybe she did love me.

Dead wrong. By Fall, I had a much better paying position and a new car so I tried to get back together with her. By now she was out of her parent's house and rooming with two friends, she taunted and teased that she wanted to get back together while ignoring me when she saw fit. For her birthday I spent 30 hours on a painting, three hours after recieving it she slept with a guy she barely knew, one of many guys she confessed she did that year including while we were together.

It sucked, but the upside was during all this time I did form other friendships, went out alot more, the combo leading me to my wife. I'm sorry to hear what happen Haoh, I know it has to gnaw at you. *-neo

I wonder if she was "trying to find herself." I've seen what you just described with a lot of girls who are just moving out. They think retarded crap like:

"its ok to date lots of guys, because I'm finding myself"
"Its ok to screw lots of guys, because I'm finding myself"
"its ok to do lots of drugs, because I'm finding myself"

and finding herself is always good and you're a jerk to want to know about why or how she does it. Especially if you don't like it or get hurt.

I imagine she was hard to deal with later because the new wore off you after you left. Distance does this like nothing else will, and faster. And her feelings for you mostly went away because she was seeing other guys. She was being erratic because she was comparing you to these other guys. Trying to decide who was best. (lol, I'm too young to be this bitter)

I'd try to stay away from those kind of women if you can help it. You being treated well shouldn't depend on her personal life journey. You deserve that regardless of where she is at in life.

[Schlep]

For her birthday I spent 30 hours on a painting, three hours after recieving it she slept with a guy she barely knew...

I'm sorry dude, that sucks...but it's priceless.

[Fe 26]

sounds like women. He shouldn't let it bother him though. I doubt she planned it. She was probably just being a stupid crazy bitch. Doing whatever craziness came into her head.

[Schlep]

Well, to be fair, neo was probably doing some fairly unattractive things, not the least of which was spending 30 hours doing a painting. I laugh every time I read/type that.

[Fe 26]

eh, she had probably planned on sexing the other guy hours before she got the gift. And she did make plans and all, we wouldn't want being a nice to get in the way of the plans, right?

neo, I find a general good rule of thumb is to try to not put more into a relationship than the other person is. If she isn't making you 30 hour + paintings, don't make them for her. Do a couple small nice things and wait for them to be reciprocated. If you do otherwise, you are setting yourself up to be hurt with big projects like that painting.

oh, and don't act like you are waiting for her to reciprocate. Act like they are nothing.

[AstroBlue]

Ray Charles gave great advice about painting.

[Low]

sounds like women. He shouldn't let it bother him though. I doubt she planned it. She was probably just being a stupid crazy bitch. Doing whatever craziness came into her head.

Got over it quick actually, at some point you have to think I'm stupid for getting this far into a situation.

And to be honest I think I dodged a bullet. I transferred jobs and didn't see her for a 10 month stretch. When I ran into her one day she was engaged and had bought a house with her fiance. I'm standing here talking to these two and she just insults the guy right in front of me. He gave her the slightest look of "where the hell did that come from ?" and I really wanted to tell him to run fast and far away, you're marrying a big mistake. *-neo

[MechDeus]

He gave her the slightest look of "where the hell did that come from ?" and I really wanted to tell him to run fast and far away, you're marrying a big mistake. *-neo

Why didn't you? What's the worst that could happen, she never talks to you again? Oh noes!

[Low]

Why didn't you? What's the worst that could happen, she never talks to you again? Oh noes!

Or end up in a fist fight if he wants to defend his wife to be...let him learn on his own. *-neo

[SapphirePhoenix]

They're buying a house together, too? Poor guy, in about a year or two, he'll go on his forum and say that wished he knew what the fuck happened with his marriage.