The most painful experience of your life

[Crafter]

Kidney stones and the related renal calculus. I wasn't aware such pain was possible. My first stone was estimated to be 9mm-10mm, and jagged. It fell into my ureter, slicing the inside walls, and causing my urine to back up into my kidney. I went to the emergency room, had some cocky-ass doctor who thought I was after painkillers, released me. That night, I went back to the emergency room, they ran a CT-scan, and found SIX stones, three in one kidney, two in the other, and the stone in question. They immediately called a urologist and put me under heavy narcotics (Dilaudid, then a Fenatyl patch, both several hundred times more powerful than morphine).

A week later, pissing blood the entire while and experiencing pain (even with oxycontin) akin to being kicked repeatedly in the kidney, I was put into surgery and the urologist elected to give me a ureteroscopy, with stint. Essentially, the doctor sticks a long probe with a laser module on the end and goes in through the penis, all the way up to the proximal region of the ureter, and attempts to "blast" the stone apart.

The surgery failed. The stint, in me for a week, is a tube coiled in the kidney, stretched through the ureter, into the bladder, and out of the penis. There is literally a little string hanging out of the cock-hole--Why? Because the doctor has to pull it out, hand-over-hand, without putting me to sleep!

A month later, I found out that the failed surgery actually scarred my ureter and didn't get rid of ANY of the stone. I went in for lithotripsy, and that worked--FOR ONE of the SIX stones. The other five are sitting there, waiting.

Subjectively speaking, large kidney stones that pass into the ureter are said to be more painful than child birth, gun shots, and waking during stomach surgery. I don't know about all that, but I pray nightly for the other stones to miraculously evaporate.

[gamevet]

Holy shit, I knew it. Dole is Superman.

[Korian]

I had a nurse stick a q tip down my urthrea a few years ago.

I've been fingered in the anus before, seriously it's the
worse pain ever.

[Josh]

big man hands?

[Aurora]

Bone marrow biopsy. Ugh. My first one I chose to stay awake and take no pain meds/vicodin beforehand. The doctor was reportedly "amazing" at them, so he didn't deem it necessary.

Well, according to him, I have some of the hardest bones he's ever worked with. He dug into my bones about 20 times, each in a different area (couldn't find a "tender" spot). Imagine ramming a shovel into a rock. Yeah. Each time I could hear the cracking of the bone, and the needle squishing into the fleshy part of it. He had to shimmy into it, putting all the pressure of his body to jam it in. Then crrrrraaaaaaaaaccccccck. Slurrrrrrrrrrrrpp. Little drips of his sweat twickled onto my back as he dug into me . If the option to die came up at the moment, I'd totally have gone for it.

Finally, after about 45min to an hour of trying to slurp up a marrow sample, he "gave up." Had to do it again in a week, but this time asleep.

And yes, I do realize how sexual this all sounded.

I do not recommend staying awake as needles crack into your backbones. It's really no fun.

[icarusfall]

Doing a stair set and having the board spin out from the rail. I hit my mouth on the rail and chipped 3 teeth.

I'm missing a big chunk of bone in my elbow from hitting a sand patch and going flying.

But the real answer is the star tattoos around my neck. You have no idea.

[Josh]

You talked me out of going to the neck area if I remember correctly.

Thank you.

[Space Pirate Roberts]

This is why I was absent most of last year. It went on for months and was so bad I would have welcomed death with open arms.

[Korian]

big man hands?

Yes I had to get my prostate examined. I felt raped.

[Grave]

I've never really experienced extreme physical pain. Never broke anything, no major injuries or illnesses.

I'm pretty much in a similar boat. For all the stupid shit I've done, no bone breaks or anything terrible. I mean, enough stitches, but I don't really consider that terribly serious. I'm overdue. I've never even had a cavity.

I did get my skull dented with a spade shovel, though. It bled a lot and was terribly upsetting but it really didn't hurt.