Pooping Buddy

[Jason]

So you only wiped your ass once? or was that the end of your wiping when you decided to finally flush all that mess? as a restroom law I like to flush that shit prior to the first wipe.

[Seik]

You're an asshole.

I know. And that's part of the shame I felt leaving the washroom afterward. It's something I'll have to live with though.

Also, I wiped several times, but did not flush before I threw away the toilet paper - which was the catalyst that set the whole series of unfortunate events into motion.

[Jason]

I know. And that's part of the shame I felt leaving the washroom afterward. It's something I'll have to live with though.

I'm sure you'll be fine, the guy that had to clean up that shit... probably needed a drink or two that night.

[Mr-K]

I have the choice between going home and pooping and pooping here at work. I think I am going to stay and get paid for pooping.

[Josh]

You little bitches are embarrassed of your shits in public? Jesus...

[Pineapple]

I love shitting in public, and if I know there are other people in the room, I'll ussually groan like I'm pushing hard or in pain, and sometimes I just talk to myself so I sound crazy. People ussually leave pretty quick when I'm taking a shit.

Speaking of which, I haven't shat since this morning, and I had some chili with nacho cheese at work. I feel something brewing, and it's going to be glorious.

[Timber]

I'm proud every time I clog up a toilet in a public place. I love giving more work to our illegal friends from south of the border.

[Tones]

Here's my favorite pooping in public story:

I took my high school girlfriend out to dinner for our second anniversary. Okay, we were in college by this point. Anyway, I thought I should take us to this really nice restaurant back in Jacksonville we went to a few years before.

It was like 8:00 on a Monday night when we got there; we were seriously the only ones there. They had candles lit, champagne out on the table (which was awesome considering that we were still only freshmen), and asked us what music we would like to listen to. We had three waiters.

Anyway, we get through our five courses, I sign the check, then make a quick escape to the bathroom. Boy, did that go through my system fast! Before flushing, I notice that the mass is about the same consistency as the foie gras I ate earlier and chuckle. That is, until I actually pushed the lever...

*click*

*click*

Oh my God. The toilet would not flush. I take the top off of the back; no water. The float was just sitting down like a fish out of water.

Other than the staff, I was the only male in the restaurant, and I left two tips that evening.

[Pineapple]

Faulty toilets are not your fault.
Being the guy who leaves a giant shit for the night guy to clean up is.
Either way, you win.

[Pineapple]

I still have trouble believing I didn't create this thread or another just like it. wtf