Funniest Thing You've Stolen

[Finch]

I stole some nachos from a homeless blind guy on the J train. He was sleeping so i thought it'd be alright.

[Busu-Otoko]

When I was a kid I used to go to my local comic book store, shove stacks of comics up my pants legs, tuck them into my socks, and walk out.

I did the same exact thing when i was a kid, but i didn't limit it to just comics, i stole x-men, dc, trading cards, those plastic card holders for rare cards. Also, as a kid, i walked into the pet store and stole fish food for my pet gold fish. Thinking back on it now; what the hell was i thinking back then.

[Melf]

When I was a kid I used to go to my local comic book store, shove stacks of comics up my pants legs, tuck them into my socks, and walk out. I used to do it constantly until I got caught. The store owner just called my mom to pick me up.

Lol, a friend and I used to do this too. The day he got caught, the store owner noticed the bulge in his leg and stopped him. When he lifted his pants leg up, about 30 comics just poured onto the floor. It was the funniest thing, because I hadn't taken anything on that particular day! I just stood there and feigned surprise at what a no good thief my friend was!

[Thief Silver]

I haven't stolen anything from a store ever, you no good mexican thieves.

Which is ironic considering my nick.

[Clash!]

A joke book.

[Thief Silver]

I hate you so much right now for that.

[ElCapichan]

I used to steal a single yogurt covered raisin from the super market when I was a kid. I always felt really bad afterwards but tried to justify it as it was a single raisin.

[Cowutopia]

When I was really young I shoplifted a G.I. Joe Snake Eyes action figure. This was right when they first came out, and my mom knew it. I had to lay out this bullshit story that I had found it.

I also lifted some kind of Hustler letters mag while staying at my grandparent's house one summer. I had no fucking idea what I was reading, but it was hot.

One of the local convenience stores in Illinois used to throw all the unsold magazines away in a big trash bag. We used to rip into the bag and take all the dirty mags.

I stole a WoW paladin pin from an EB games once, just put it in my pocket and forgot it was there. I felt kind of ashamed of stealing something so shitty, so I wound up wearing it.

Stole Call of Duty 2 once, but unintentionally. The cashier forgot to ring it, and when I noticed as I was inspecting my receipt while walking out, I didn't correct it. I stacked the two games (the one I had paid for and Call of Duty 2) in the bag and flashed the security drone that was standing by the Best Buy exit, and he waved me along. The alarms went off, so I turned around, ready to give it up, but the drone just told me it was okay, and to beat it. So I did.

[Cowutopia]

Whenever I steal something I also buy something too.

[Dolemite]

I stole a foot-tall Tekken 2 cardboard standee of Heihachi from EB once.

Years ago, around when the PS1 first came out, Blockbuster used to keep all their games in plastic cases out on the shelves instead of behind the counter. I used to walk into various Blockbusters, use a pocketknife to slit seams of the spines of the boxes open (if you did it the right way, they cut open like butter), and walk out with a bunch of games. Never got caught. Some classics I aquired in this manner were Twisted Metal 2 and Vandal Hearts.

Also, there was this Blockbuster near my house that had a demo PS1 you could play, and they never locked the case it was in. I was tempted to steal the PS1 itself, but I never had the balls. I used to take the games out of it sometimes, however.

Ah, to be young and stupid...