Clones of Bruce Lee

[StriderKyo]

This is far and away the most insane kung fu movie Hong Kong ever produced, and now that clips of it are on Youtube I can share some of it with you.

Bruce Lee is not in the movie on account of him being dead at the time, but Bruce Le, Bruce Lai, Bruce Tai, Dragon Lee and Bolo Yeung are, which is almost better.
Somebody else made an awesome trailer for it:



This is the real original trailer. If you look fast, you'll see bush and boobies from the part where they go to the beach and check out 30 naked chicks running around because I guess every woman in Thailand is a prostitute and that's just what they do there. Also note that they are trained in ALL the martial arts through SCIENTIFIC techniques:



The plot is that Bruce Lee dies, and the British secret service gets a scientist to make three clones of him to fight crime. They are named Bruce Lee 1, Bruce Lee 2 and Bruce Lee 3, and are not even slightly fazed at being sequentially numbered clones. The Bruce Lees are made in this awesome 70s science lab with lots of science noises, hot Chinese nurses and important science strobe lights:



Unfortunately they couldn't clone kung fu back in the 70s, so the Bruces had to be retrained. This next scene is four minutes of pure movie magic: crane style, wicked funk, wicked hair, dramatic extreme fist closeups, and whatever the fuck they're doing at the 3:21 mark:



In this scene, Bruce Le AKA Bruce Lee #1 does the traditional Chinese kung fu mating dance to the Rocky theme, and the hot nurse chick is totally impressed:



The movie follows the three Bruces as they travel around southeast Asia defeating evil. In one scene, the evil Dr. Nai plans to take over Thailand - THEN THE WORLD! - using out of shape Asian guys in their underwear painted gold. They are his "bronze soldiers" - and they're "tough as steel!" Note the awesome audio synch:



How could even THREE Bruce Lees defeat such monsters? Fortunately the bronze soldier serum has the side effect of making them into retards who will stop in the middle of a 1970s kung fu battle to furiously chow down on whatever is put into their mouths.

Three things to take away from this next scene -

1. The dude in white's voice actor is cool as fuck.
2. The Bruce Lees are so busy with Dr. Nai's bronze soldiers that they totally miss the fact that this woman is trying to murder her children by feeding them vegetables grown from poison fertilizer.
3. This movie's soundtrack is FUCKING AWESOME:



At the end of the movie, the crazy scientist begins to realize the unfathomable power at his fingertips, and decides to rule the world using one of his Bruce Lees. He has them all fight each other to determine the strongest, and that Bruce Lee will then proceed to kick the fuck out of the entire planet while he cackles maniacally in his science strobe light room in Hong Kong. BUT! Being Bruce Lee, unstoppable force for justice, they naturally rebel.

Sometime in the late 1960s, Bolo Yeung angered the governor of Hong Kong, and a law was subsequently passed that he had to get his ass kicked at the end of every single movie ever made there, even the romantic ones. So here's Bolo making a token appearance in this movie (seriously, he's only in one other scene) defending the crazy scientist in a hopeless battle against a Bruce Lee, who has already kicked his ass in like 3 other movies:



There are actually far more ridiculous scenes, like the part with all the naked chicks, and the whole thing where one of the Bruce Lees becomes a movie star to battle gold smugglers and nobody notices that he's Bruce Lee, but unfortunately they're not on youtube. Just know that however bad you might think this is, it goes so far beyond the barriers of ultimate badness and breaks through into an uncharted realm of awe-inspiring giant-sunglasses-wearing insanity set to discofunk theme songs.

If Jackie Chan ever dies I hope they make a sequel.

[YellerDog]

This looks like I will watch it TONIGHT.

[Despair]

Pure awesomeness.

[Nick]

I'm getting this. Thanks, Strider.

Here's the TNL Store link, if anyone else wants to buy a copy ($12.99 new, $5.49 used):

http://astore.amazon.com/thenextleve...383651-0398453

[cka]

I have a few of these ridiculous cash-in-on-bruce-lees-death dvds ("Bruce Lee fights back from the Grave starring Bruce K. L. Lea and "The Image of Bruce Lee" starring Bruce Li)

they're all pretty insane in their own rights

[bbobb]

I need to see this movie.

[Frogacuda]

There really were scads of imitators after he died with names like Bruce Li and Bruce Le. I like that this is being self conscious about that phenomenon.