John Woo to announce Metroid movie?

[YellerDog]

SAMUS vs.... SAMUS! Fight to the death in the THEATRE OF THE MIND.

[bbobb]

Metroid 3: The Cell?

[Doc Holliday]

Yeah, but that's the one that also tanks. Because they get some artsy director to do it, and it's pretty cool and really dark and takes place on this wooden planet, but the execs don't like it, so half way through, they chop it up, and the star has them re-write the ending where Samus has the last metroid inside her and she plunges to her death into lava to kill it.

But all that doesn’t matter, because they bring the metroid back in the sequel with genetics and French gimps and shit...

[bbobb]

So Metroid 4 will feature Samus as a Metroid/Human Hybrid.

Essentially they'll be adapting Metroid Fusion to the screen, but adding French fags and Winona Ryder's big brown beaver.

[Gymkata]

I can't wait for the scene with Samus sliding down the banister dual-weilding 9mm's and shooting a bunch of Chinese.

While the entire thing is taking place in a church. And the Evil Samus is the main villan. Which is her twin sister.

[YellerDog]

So Metroid 4 will feature Samus as a Metroid/Human Hybrid.

Essentially they'll be adapting Metroid Fusion to the screen, but adding French fags and Winona Ryder's big brown beaver.

Samus has to fuck a Metroid, also. Because she's the executive producer.

Also, there are no weapons. Of any kind.