Swingers: Do or Don't!

**Dolemite** · 20 May 2008, 10:35 AM

Let's not all underestimate the importance of baby wipes when it comes to a clean happy anus. I find it hard to believe that there are people out there who still think that smearing crap around their asshole whith a wad of completely dry paper will actually clean them. That's fucking gross.

Dolemite's sure-fire method for a clean happy anus:

1: Wash off in the shower after you shit.

2: If a shower is not available or taking one would be currently problematic, first take a wad of TP, dampen one side, and wipe first with the damp side. Follow-up with the dry side. If it's an especially messy poop, repeat this step with a fresh wad.

3: Once the bulk of the poop has been removed, take a baby wipe and thoroughly wipe the offending area. Once the wipe is used up, throw into the bowl and repeat with a fresh wipe.

4: Repeat step 2 one last time. Your asshole should be clean as a daisy now.

Only on TNL could a "is DPing gay?" thread turning into a bathroom habit thread.

Originally Posted by Tones

I love shitting at work. I'm not using my own toilet paper and I'm still getting paid. And also relating to toilet paper, I buy the nice stuff. Multi-ply, name brand stuff. Ever notice how quickly it dwindles down when a female stays over? Jesus Christ. Normally a six-pack of double ply will last me four months at minimum. When there's a girl involved TP needs its own budget.

You have to budget TP? Time to ask for a raise, imo.

**Chux** · 20 May 2008, 10:42 AM

Originally Posted by Biff

Muffin in Biff's hand is now in garbage. Thanks Chux!!

I was helping you win the TNL Weight Contest.

**Grave** · 20 May 2008, 11:06 AM

Originally Posted by Dolemite

Dolemite's sure-fire method for a clean happy anus:

I find that the "dry, wet, dry" combo works best with toilet paper and wipes, in terms of effectiveness and economy. You can repeat the wet step if it comes to that. But I think the initial dry stage helps cut down on the amount of wet wipes you tear through.

**kingoffighters** · 20 May 2008, 11:08 AM

Steer clear of the shit hole.

**Dolemite** · 20 May 2008, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by Grave

I find that the "dry, wet, dry" combo works best with toilet paper and wipes, in terms of effectiveness and economy. You can repeat the wet step if it comes to that. But I think the initial dry stage helps cut down on the amount of wet wipes you tear through.

Can't agree, my friend. I believe the initial dry pass you speak of would only smush the shit into your nooks and cranneys further. A first wet pass loosens and mositens up everything which is then more effectively picked up by the following dry pass. Then you mop up the remainder with the baby wipes.