Struggle for Supremacy

[Gohron]

So what exactly have I been doing these past several months when I've been away from TNL? Writing my ass off, at least for the prior two weeks. In 2004 I posted up a start to a novel I was planning to write called "Struggle for Supremacy". I suppose sometime in 2007 I looked over what I had previously written as I was interested in finishing it but it was quite poor and I started over again from scratch. I took a good eight months off of it, possibly longer but recently have started hammering it out again.

I've always enjoyed writing but I've had trouble sticking to something (no matter what it may have been) but in the past year I'm having an easier time staying focused on only a few things instead of constantly bouncing around from interest to interest.

Anyways, the reason I'm making this thread is to get some opinions on what I have written so far and get some honest criticisms. I've attached two copies of the book to this post (both in .doc format), the first one being the original and the second being the current. I'd compare the two to Batman and Robin vs Batman Begins. I figured that it would show my progression as a writer (that I hope I have made). I wouldn't bother reading the entire original but I'd greatly appreciate it if a few TNLers could read the current copy and let me know what they think of what I have done so far.

[Tones]

Very cool. I'm not going to have time to read this tonight, but I'll definitely read it over in the coming days. I hear you on not being able to stick to one task for very long... I jump around from hobby to hobby all the time.

[Calliander]

I'm gonna read the shit out of this tomorrow evening.

[Gohron]

I would like to not let this thread die so easily...

Come on, I know you fuckers read.

[Tones]

Give it the subtitle In the Vaginacunt Douchebag and I guarantee this thread will have 100 replies by tomorrow.

[The_Meach]

TLDR.

In all seriousness, good luck w/your literary aspirations, Goh. Don't let anyone tell you it's not for you. You've clearly Perceived your goal. Continue to Believe you can achieve it. Now go and ACHIEVE it!!!

[gameking]

Hello. I work at a publishing house and stumbled upon your work by accident. Splendid writing, we would like to publish it. Get in touch!

თბილისი-publishing house.

[MarsKitten]

So you work for a Tbilisi, Georgia publishing house?

[Gohron]

So you work for a Tbilisi, Georgia publishing house?

Through fear of having their military decimated in the war with Russia, the Georgian government is looking to publish American works in use against the Russians.

[Razor Ramon]

I can't believe he's lurked for so long just to spam.