So since I know you can I get a free copy of both?
I've found that from 15 to now, if you asked me where I wanted to be in the future each year you probably would get a different answer. That said, despite being newly unemployed i'm probably closer to any goals i've had now then ever, I'm in the midst of writing a movie script aswell as co-funding another movie and getting to know some people in the business.
So since I know you can I get a free copy of both?
I'm very content with where I'm at and where I believe I'm headed mainly because of the knowledge I've acquired over the past ten years. As long as I keep acquiring and applying knowledge, I'll go as far as my health allows me to. I see no limits so I choose not to set any limitations on myself. I never really had a concrete ideal of who I'd be at age 30 aside from winding down my NBA career, but that didn't pan out so it's been Plans B - Z since then.
My life couldn't be more different. At 20 I was certain I'd be dead or in prison before long, and in all honesty there is no reason other than extraordinary luck I wasn't.
And really, now that I'm 30, from all the external factors I'm at an all-time low: I make less money now than I did at 16 and am barely scraping by, I'm single , no health insurance, and academic career uncertain, etc. Yet I feel better about my life than I ever have. Last year I faced more challenges than I had in all the years preceding combined, any one of which would have broken the kid I used to be: the onset of my 'illness' and subsequent halt in my academic career, the end of a 6 year relationship, loss of loved ones, addiction, etc. But I have dealt with all of them, and dealt with them surprisingly well. And I know that life has a bit more to throw my way before it's over, but I also know I can take it.
Internally, I'm at an all time high, and for the first time I'm hopeful. I feel like through consistent effort at self-improvement I'm going to find peace. I was never 'lost' because I never had a direction to begin with. But through trial-and-error I'm getting my shit together at last.
To boldly go where lots of men have gone before...
Not where I thought I'd be.
Not happy with where I am.
Not happy with... anything. At least I know I have good friends. Now I just need to rekindle that drive within me to change and I'm good.
Yup.
In second grade I wanted to go to the University of Florida. At that back-country elementary school the other kids would talk about their dreams of getting an athletic scholarship in; actually having the academic record to get in at that point was unthinkable for them. I'm at the University of Florida. I need to remember this more often so I don't let go of school before I get my degree (like I have been doing the last couple of semesters).
It's 2 am and I'm drinking whiskey. I'm almost there!
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