New Super Mario Bros. - Wii

[SamuraiMoogle]

It's too bad reviews of big name Nintendo games are worthless. They're going to get excellent scores whether they deserve them (Super Mario Galaxy) or not (Super Paper Mario).

Thats not true. Ign and Gamespot didnt rate it crazy high.

[Yoshi]

1up gave this a A+

It was Jeremy Parrish. He probably put it in "do it for me" mode and gave it an A+ for being easy enough for his hack ass to finish.

[sethsez]

There are so many bigger reasons why NSMBW sucks than waggle.

Those reasons would be?

[RoleTroll]

In the old days, you'd make a game simple and accessible by using no buttons (Pac Man) or one button (Sonic the Hedgehog). Waggle doesn't make things easier, it just makes the control imprecise. At a party, I played some Wii Play. The motion sensing made the controls sloppy and ruined it for me. Maybe sloppy controls are the new rubber banding, giving the newbies a chance to win? (If so, it didn't work. I still beat the competition.)

NSMB DS is a very good game, despite the rendered graphics look. It deserves better than waggle.

[RoleTroll]

1up gave this a A+

I thought the old 1up is dead? Didn't they fire most of the people, and now it's just a shell with a couple dweebs with a 360 plugged into a 19" SDTV?

[sethsez]

In the old days, you'd make a game simple and accessible by using no buttons (Pac Man) or one button (Sonic the Hedgehog). Waggle doesn't make things easier, it just makes the control imprecise. At a party, I played some Wii Play. The motion sensing made the controls sloppy and ruined it for me. Maybe sloppy controls are the new rubber banding, giving the newbies a chance to win? (If so, it didn't work. I still beat the competition.)

NSMB DS is a very good game, despite the rendered graphics look. It deserves better than waggle.

Yeah, but Frog's saying there are other things that suck much more, without actually bothering to say what they are.

[Rumpy]

It was Jeremy Parrish. He probably put it in "do it for me" mode and gave it an A+ for being easy enough for his hack ass to finish.

He's been talking about it for weeks, he really likes the game. Seems like a fair review to me.

[Yoshi]

If you read enough of that hack's drivel to know that he's been talking about it for weeks, I trust your take as much as his.

[Finch]

Yoshi, everyone takes your word as solid truth.

[Yoshi]

Stop wasting my time with trivial facts I already know.

Back to Jeremy Parish, here is what he posted on his personal web site about his own fucking review:

So, New Super Mario Bros. Wii is pretty good. I'm sure the 1UP score will skew high compared to a lot of other reviews, but bear in mind that I reviewed it based on what it does as opposed to some fevered vision of what I think it should do. It's designed to be a universally accessible and enjoyable game, and NSMB Wii passed the Fiancée Test, which made the difference between a great score and a top score.

Seriously? A professional reviewer is giving bonus points for what his bitch thinks about a game and being universally accessible? I guess that makes a unisex bathroom with aroma candles an A+ too, because I'll bet she loves that smell, and anyone can take a shit there.