TNL Pub 2010

[FirstBlood]

WHY IS IT CALLED A LONG ISLAND ICED TEA IF THERE'S NO TEA IN IT?

I AM OUTRAGE

[Doc Holliday]

You don't see the eyetalyans calling eggplant parmesan vegetarian parmesan do you?

No. 'Cuz they gots peckers!

[Doc Holliday]

LONG ISLAND ICE TEA IS DIFFERENT BECAUSE IT'S A JOKE AND YOU GETS FUCKED UP.

[Doc Holliday]

STOP PUTTING FRUIT IN MAH BEERS!!!

[Shakey]

Why do people insist on having vegetables pretend to be meat? It's like having beer imitate wine, and penises imitate vaginas, and all those fucking 'fusion' restaurants!

Let things be what they are and exploit their own inherent qualities.

I hate this so fucking much. WHY DO YOU CALL IT CHICKEN? IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT CHICKEN. Your frozen chicken nuggets are not called "Chicken Flavored Processed Innards" or "Preservative Loafs! now with 80% real meat!"

Just because it's vegetarian doesn't mean it's outside of standard marketing practices, and trying to convince people that it's chicken does more to snag people who eat these things for some weird reason other than the fact that they want to.

[Diff-chan]

why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway lol

[Josh]

AND WHATS THE DEAL WITH AIRPLANE FOOD

[Josh]

Also: Doc. You're smart enough to understand marketing... right? Don't be an uppity cunt about my dinner.

[Shakey]

So far as I can tell it's carnivores that get all pissy about preachy vegs that say this shit. I get that: nobody likes a preachy anything. I just don't understand why they always have to express this by saying the exact same things as the people that piss them off in a slightly different language.

[Doc Holliday]

Because splicing up a man penis covered in hair still feels pretty good with some kind of lube and it still looks like a vagina?

Yeah that's why.

Well, when you put it that way...


EDIT: ...I give up meat for lent and it puts me on the Cro-Magnon, He-Man rag. Still though, I'll eat a hundred lasagnas and margherita pies before I'll touch the imitation shit.