On The Bro'd — On the Road, Rewritten for Bros

[Brisco Bold]

1 - Epic Beginnings

I first met Dean not long after Tryscha and I hooked up. I had just gotten over a wicked fucking hangover that I won’t bother to talk about, except that it had something to do with a six-foot-five douchebag and a beer bong. With the coming of Dean Moriarty began the part of my life you could call my life on the bro’d. Before that I’d often dreamed of going West to see hot LA actress chicks and try In N’ Out burgers, always vaguely planning and never taking off. Dean is the perfect bro for the road because he knows how to fucking party. First reports of him came to me through Chad King, who’d shown me a few Facebook status updates written by Dean from the Arizona State Beta Phi Omega house. I was totally stoked about Dean’s status updates because they were funny as shit, asking Chad to rate some pictures of girls he hooked up with the night before. At one point, Carlo Marx and I texted about the status updates and wondered if we would ever meet the epic Dean Moriarty. This is all far back, when Dean was not the crazy fucking jagoff he is today, when he was a young Communications major shrouded in Axe Body Spray. Then news came that Dean was out of ASU and was transferring to OSU; also there was talk that he was bringing some slam piece named Marylou.

Check it.

[M]

This just reminds me of "On the Road" by Jack Kerouak.

ie. I have no interest. Good luck!

[Mzo]

I think reminding you of the original is a part of being satirical.

[Josh]

I'll have no part of this.

[dave is ok]

He still comes off as less of a douche than Kerouac

[Razor Ramon]

On the Road sucked a dick.

[Anthony]

Really? I loved it.

[Shakey]

That's not surprising.

[Opaque]

I don't have a basis for this since I never read the book it's based on.

I'm loving the shit out of it though. There is nothing more enjoyable than making fun of bros.

[Razor Ramon]

Want a natty ice?