*Official* Nerd Joke Thread

**Freeter** · 03 Oct 2002, 12:12 AM

Originally posted by Nash
what did the history book say to the math book?

man, you got a lot of problems.

what did the math book say to the history book?

let the past go.

two atoms ran into each other and one of them yells, "oh no, i lost an electron!" the other asks, "are you sure?" to which the first replies, "i'm positive!"

Now that is actually funny.

Master's "joke" deserves a nice towel snap in the ass

**andyrose** · 03 Oct 2002, 12:44 AM

*watches as an old man gets run over by a bus*

BUS WINS, FATALITY! FLAWLESS VICTORY

**Cheebs** · 03 Oct 2002, 12:11 PM

The Simpsons always have great nerd jokes....

C

DOS
C

DOS run

The all time best has to be when Bart is in genious school:

R^3D = RDRR or Har de har har! I was dyin' when they did that one.

**Gymkata** · 03 Oct 2002, 01:56 PM

There was a guy running around saying "I'm gunna diferentiate you!"

People ran away screaming

He went up to this one guy and said "I'm gunna diferentiate you!"

He said to the guy "Go ahead. Take your best shot. Im e^x"

The end.

I win!

**innova** · 03 Oct 2002, 02:37 PM

Originally posted by Master
There are 10 kinds of people in this world.

Those who understand binary and those that don't.

sadly i get that and find it humerous...

**Master** · 03 Oct 2002, 02:52 PM

For mole control call Avogadro: 602-3000 000 000 000 ...

Here is another one:

A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: \"Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with a proof.\"

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle\'s Law or some variant. One student, however wrote the following:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle\'s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.

So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose. Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

**Rich** · 03 Oct 2002, 04:46 PM

Originally posted by Master
For mole control call Avogadro: 602-3000 000 000 000 ...

Here is another one:

A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: \"Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with a proof.\"

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle\'s Law or some variant. One student, however wrote the following:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle\'s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.

So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose. Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

Best joke of the year award.

And Psx, thanks for clearing that up.

**Rich** · 03 Oct 2002, 06:19 PM

Sorry Master, I revoke your award.

After 70,000 jokes and a bigass poll, Scientists have just announced this as the World's Funniest Joke. (What will they think of next?)

“A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
“The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’
“The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: ’Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’
“There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: ‘OK, now what?”’