omgninjas: You know something I really like? Online games. I really like how nearly every worthwhile multiplayer-capable game on the PC, Xbox and PS2 is online. It's not because it's a global conspiracy to ruin gaming, or because it's the hip new thing to do. It's because games are all about competition and beating stuff, and beating the holy crap out of a human opponent is so much better than beating the crap out of an AI controlled enemy that only knows to move left and right and stab. As if I hadn't talked about them enough, it still needs to be mentioned: Get A Clue, Nintendo. There's another award for you.

AFX: I can already hear the fanboys whining, can't you?

"Nintendo is all about traditional gaming! Online gaming isn't traditional!"

"People just don't appreciate Nintendo's light-hearted approach to gaming! Mario Golf Part Tennis Kart Curling 4 is fun. People just don't like it because you can't kill a hooker in it. Hold me, mommy."

"There's no money to be made in online gaming. There's no good way to set up an online structure yet!"

Wrong. Nintendo is lazy. They want to control the industry, but they've forgotten that it's people who play games that determine where the industry goes. There also is a good online infrastructure already in place. It's called Xbox Live. Last but not least, I hated the GTA games. You don't have to be violent to sell games, you just have to make them new and fun and not insult people's intelligence. So, for you Nintendo, the Stop Insulting My Intelligence award is yours. Rockstar isn't great or innovative or special, they just don't pander.

omgninjas: I don't understand the money issue, considering that all you have to do is say "Hey Gamespy, allow player matchups for this game" and the gamers do the rest themselves. Paying someone to create an online matchup system is not any different than paying artists to make graphics for your game.

But enough about Nintendo, I'm sure we're either preaching to the choir or we're about to get a few hundred angry emails about how we just don't appreciate Nintendo's innovation. Especially since they've innovated nothing for years, unless you count that money-sucking GBA-GC connectivity gimmick. Not like Microsoft, who finally gave us a hard drive and some bitching online play. My award for I Thought You Guys Were Douchebags, and I'm Still Apprehensive About You Since You're Microsoft and All, But the Xbox is Pretty Sweet So Far award goes to Microsoft for giving us what we want, like any good business.

AFX: Damn right. And Gates gave like 10 billion to charity or something, so I think we can all grow up and stop hating Microsoft. The Xbox rules, Xbox Live rules, and they're the best console maker out there right now. The next version of the Xbox is the only next generation console that I even care about. My Thank You For Proving Me Wrong award goes to Microsoft. They're just the best right now, and it's not because they have the most money or because they're unholy, it's because they actually gave me my money's worth. I remember buying my Xbox for 300 dollars and thinking "What the hell am I doing?" Now, I wish I'd traded in my PS2 and Gamecube for it. Sony really is in trouble, and it's not because Nintendo is going to suddenly stop sucking, it's because Microsoft is going to rule the next console generation. Believe that, playa.

While we're at it, MS also gets my You Convinced Me That Online Games Rule award. Crimson Skies, Links 2004, and Halo 2 coming soon. Who needs anything but an Xbox and a Live account?

omgninjas: It's strange that the Xbox and PC were the things that everyone, including us, thought would never matter but have turned out to be the only two things that do matter. It's a shame Half-Life 2 isn't out yet, but that's okay, because the promise of it coming out any time in the next five years is better than anything 90% of the industry did this year. Also, while I'm not as high on Xbox Live or the Xbox as you (I don't own anything for the damn thing but Shenmue 2), I do agree that they haven't really screwed up, which is the best you can hope for anymore.

Something else that isn't screwed up would be Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, the only RPG of the year worth anything, and the only RPG since Baldur's Gate that tries to advance the genre instead of keeping it in the random-battle, predetermined-stats rut that the genre has been in since Square ruined it all those years ago. The award for Wow RPGs Can Actually Be Fun? goes to BioWare for every RPG they've ever made, including Neverwinter Nights which sucks, but not as much as you, Final Fantasy whatever. Yes, I'm talking to you.

AFX: Final Fantasy XII is coming out soon, and from what I understand, Square is taking the RPG genre in all new directions. They've added a menu command that makes your odd looking, anime, misshapen female lead bob up and down so you can see her cartoon panties flash underneath her short, hideously colored skirt. That's innovation.

BioWare needs to come out with some sort of new name for the genre of games they make. Square has made RPG short for "Game Where You Do What We Tell You To Do and Go Where We Tell You To Go So Drag Your Sexually Ambiguous Male Main Character Over and Talk To That Guy and Pray You Don't Get into More than 18 Random Battles on the Way There." Maybe Bioware could call their games "GRPG"s for "Good Role Playing Games" or "RPGWYARP"s for "Role Playing Games Where You Actually Role Play" or even "NSRPG"s for "Not Shitty Role Playing Games." In any case, Knights of the Old Republic gets my award for Best NSRPG of the Year.

omgninjas: What about Morrowind: Game of the Year Edition? It still crashes just as much as a Square game would force you into a random battle, but at least the rest of the game is actually fun and lets you do stuff. That's hard to find anymore.

AFX: That's why it's my Game of the Year That's the Game of the Year Version of my Game of the Year from Last Year. It's Morrowind, and then some. I got the PC version, so I feel sorry for anyone who has to sit through the ugly, buggy, takes five minutes to load and ten to save Xbox version of the game. Still, the Xbox version of Morrowind is better than anything Square's done since the SNES.

omgninjas: I suppose that's enough bitching and crying for this year, so everyone will have to wait until next year for our awards again. That's assuming we're still writing for TNL, since we never actually write anything. I think it's been half a year since I did anything here. I rule.

AFX: We'll be at E3 though to not do any work and to walk through the Nintendo booth laughing. That's it though. I've talked about all the games I really needed to mention, and it's hard to be funny when you're trying to cyber with a 15-year-old girl on Yahoo at the same time. See everyone next year, and Prince of Persia is your God.

omgninjas: Nintendo hates TNL now, though. They'll send us nasty e-mails.

AFX: Or worse, a copy of Super Mario Sunshine.

· · · Introduction