Well, I drew the short straw and had to stay at home and inject the boards with love, but a gaggle of TNL editors hit E3 this year. Here are their opinions and stats on the grand event.

Bahn
TNL's founder found himself walking into a few displays. Seems the booth babe population was particularly ravishing this year. He was nice enough to take a break from sending out scented letters and filed this report.

Game of the Show
Seven Samurai 20XX - Ubi Soft has taken a world-renowned classic and literally transformed it into a new magical and dynamic adventure. The visuals alone are enough to turns heads and cause you to take notice. Extensive gameplay and depth embody this new installment, which is bound to intrigue veterans and newcomers alike. The only quibble I have at the moment is trying to sit patiently until it makes its release later in the year.

PlayStation 2 Game of the Show
Rise to Honor (Playable) - Although I initially expected this to end up a flop, SCEA has made me a believer as Jet Li makes his inaugural debut on the PS2. The game is loaded with martial arts action and enough gameplay options paying homage to the classic action films to put a smile on Jackie Chan's face. We'll be keeping an eye out for this one.

Gran Turismo 4 (Not Playable) - I am the furthest thing from being a master behind the virtual wheel. However, I've developed a great respect and admiration for Polyphony's series that's been raised several notches with their upcoming installment. More cars, tighter physics, and real work tracks are just some of the features you can expect. Oh, and it's all online. Racing will never be the same again.

GameCube Game of the Show
Soul Calibur II - Welcome back to the stage of history.

What? I've already given my love to GT4 and I highly doubt that F-Zero will hold my interest. This game is already one of the year's most anticipated games, not to mention Link is in it. How can you go wrong with one of the biggest fighting games of the year?

Handheld Game of the Show
Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles - Man, has this game given me even more reasons to love my GBA. Link up with three buddies and immerse yourself in an all-new adventure boasting some of the best visuals I've experienced on the platform to-date.

Best Booth of E3
There were a lot of good booths that get the nod in integrity, style, and innovation. Konami gets an honorable mention, though many of its games are essentially sequels. I have to give it up to Ubi Soft for a number of reasons, namely for bringing back the classic arcade roots (see Batman: Rise of Sin Tzu) along with XIII and the newest installment in the Prince of Persia legacy.

Biggest Surprise/Announcement of the Show
Do we really need to say it? While MGS3 managed to remain a closely guarded rumor until a couple of weeks before the show, Sony left everyone in awe and anxious to learn more with the announcement of the PSP. Dubbed by Sony as the "Walkman of the 21st Century," the unit is scheduled to hit sometime next year. The specs are impressive, but we'll see how it performs when it enters the battlefield.

Most Disappointing Event/Announcement
I am still grumbling about Grabbed by the Ghoulies. Here I expected that the acquisition of Rare would mean some kick-ass titles gracing the Xbox platform. Instead we get this sub-par adventure game (if it can even be called that). Development and production values wasted. Bring back a true Conker sequel and throw in some Perfect Dark with online play while you're at it. Hold the cheese.

Best Swag Acquired
The N-Gage backpack and the Armored Core 3 figure that I got from Agetec tie as being the most impressive items I picked up this year, with an honorable mention to the cool Dr. Seuss USB mouse, which is filled with liquid gel. Hm. Okay, maybe that was cooler than me sporting a new bag after all?

Highlight of the Week
The nVIDIA and Max Bikini after-parties hands down (for reasons already known, I am sure). Seeing Smashmouth along with "guest stars" Catalina (who showed up for both events) and Max Hardcore. Clearly someone knew how to get a party started right.

Number of Times You Spotted Gary Coleman
What'cha talkin' 'bout Willis? I didn't spot this guy at all. (I guess that's a good thing?) Though I was sorta looking forward to seeing him in that white tux he sported in the controversial Postal 2 game that was recently banned in North America.

Average Amount Spent on Food (Rounded to Nearest $)
Hm. Aside from a few dinners after the expo each evening - I'd estimate about 12 bucks, total. I just charmed my way through the cafeteria, and it helped that Diana "Future of Video Games" Kauffmann was there to distract the chefs. Okay, not really.

Estimated Number of Underage Attendees with Badges
This a trick question? I am honestly uninterested, but if those guys at Nintendojo with the fubar message to Shigeru at last year's press conference count - I'd say the ratio was much lower than at previous expos.

Number of Booth Babes You Wanted to Take Home to Meet the Folks
Let's see. Sista Girl. Diana. Catalina. Kat . . . Err (starts counting). I'll get back to you on that.

Number of Times You Realized That You Had a Snowball's Chance in Hell of Bringing Said Booth Babe Home
(Man, leave it to Reno to make these ridiculously long titles.) I don't think my mom would've cared and my dad would just agree. I'd have to say, uh, three, only because I am trying to be realistic and not gloat among the others.

Number of Games That Left You Groaning in Discomfort
Does that Rare game I spoke of count?

Hours Spent in the Media Center
Well, I was never there since I was locked away in the vaults of IGN's media room. And let me tell you - I lived there. I was fortunate enough to get out once, and it wasn't even to get some food. I am still having nightmares about the panda I saw with the baby doll's head in his mouth.

Hours Spent Ogling Booth Models
. . . I am, um . . . still calculating the figures. Talk to my photographer about that.

Hours Spent Searching for Booths During Appointments
Ha. I've become a pro at finding my way around the place, but the problem is memorizing the times or locations of a specific appointment. Thank God for cellular services.

Hours Spent at Actual Appointments
Generally, I attended them all, but once again I found myself having a very shortened session with Midway (complete with food and drink and just enough time to see one game). Well, I'll make up for it in Vegas this year, I promise!

Reno
As usual, Reno spent his time in L.A. destroying people. You can find his journal and scrapbook elsewhere in this feature, but don't even think of calling yourself a true Renoite until you read the text below.

Game of the Show
F-Zero GX

PlayStation 2 Game of the Show
Drakengard

Xbox Game of the Show
Fable

GameCube Game of the Show
F-Zero GX

Handheld Game of the Show
Advance Wars 2

Best Booth of E3
SNK, just for being there.

Biggest Surprise/Announcement of the Show
Half-Life 2 looking unreal.

Most Disappointing Event/Announcement
No pictures (concept or prototype) of the PSP.

Best Swag Acquired
Nini. [Nini was the young lady Reno approached in a restaurant. "We don't have girls like you in Canada," gushed our hero. "Can I take a picture of you?" - Ed.]

Highlight of the Week
The G4 Panda eating a baby doll. Sarita Churchill of Vivendi telling me, "Oops, I touched your butt."

Number of Times You Spotted Gary Coleman
Seven.

Average Amount Spent on Food (Rounded to Nearest $)
$500. The LACC prices are killer. [An average of $500 a meal?!? I guess those Soul Calibur tournaments make for hungry work. -Ed.]

Estimated Number of Underage Attendees with Badges
Ten.

Number of Booth Babes You Wanted to Take Home to Meet the Folks
Five.

Number of Times You Realized That You Had a Snowball's Chance in Hell of Bringing Said Booth Babe Home
Way too many times.

Number of Games That Left You Groaning in Discomfort
My brain automatically tells me not to look in the direction of games like those.

Hours Spent in the Media Center
Close to thirty-five.

Hours Spent Ogling Booth Models
Two.

Hours Spent Searching for Booths During Appointments
Three.

Hours Spent at Actual Appointments
One hour per appointment.

Ali
The enforcer of the team, Ali is our very own master of unlocking. Whether he gets behind closed doors by talking his way in or pulling a Tung Fu Rue, we may never know, but he sure leaves a lot of broken furniture behind.

Game of the Show
Sonic Heroes

PlayStation 2 Game of the Show
Virtua Fighter 4: Evolution

Xbox Game of the Show
Halo 2

GameCube Game of the Show
F-Zero GX

Handheld Game of the Show
Super Mario Advance 4

Best Booth of E3
Sony.

Biggest Surprise/Announcement of the Show
Compared to previous years, the lack of crowds at Nintendo's booth.

Most Disappointing Event/Announcement
The show overall. It was the second worst E3 I attended, and I have attended a lot of 'em.

Best Swag Acquired
An Ipaq Pocket PC (Model 1910).

Highlight of the Week
Meeting up with my friend, Lucan, who lives in L.A., and spending some time with him

Number of Times You Spotted Gary Coleman
Strangely, this year I didn't even run into him once.

Average Amount Spent on Food (Rounded to Nearest $)
No clue.

Estimated Number of Underage Attendees with Badges
Way too many.

Number of Booth Babes You Wanted to Take Home to Meet the Folks
None.

Number of Times You Realized That You Had a Snowball's Chance in Hell of Bringing Said Booth Babe Home
None.

Number of Games That Left You Groaning in Discomfort
No clue.

Hours Spent in the Media Center
Clearly not enough, as you can see if you check my E3 show-floor updates.

Hours Spent Ogling Booth Models
None.

Hours Spent Searching for Booths During Appointments
Too many.

Hours Spent at Actual Appointments
Dunno.

AFX
We thought AFX used up all his sass writing his special look at E3. Well, either he has an unlimited supply or he replenishes sass faster than any other human being ever, because he has more to say below. Bring an umbrella!

Game of the Show (tie)
F-Zero GX, Sonic Heroes

PlayStation 2 Game of the Show
Seven Samurai 20XX

Xbox Game of the Show
kill.switch

GameCube Game of the Show (tie)
F-Zero GX, Sonic Heroes

Handheld Game of the Show
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance

Best Booth of E3 (tie)
Namco and Bethesda. Namco's was bright and well-laid-out and Bethesda's was dark and cozy.

Biggest Surprise/Announcement of the Show (tie)
Final Fantasy XI for not making me hate it, and Maximo vs. the Army of Zin for rocking.

Most Disappointing Event/Announcement
Billy Hatcher and the Big Damn Egg.

Best Swag Acquired
PlayStation 2 leather binder and Nintendo shirt.

Highlight of the Week
Reno asking Sqoon, "Can I take a picture of you? We don't have guys like you up in Canada." Going right to the front of the huge line to play LAN Double Dash.

Number of Times You Spotted Gary Coleman
Zero.

Average Amount Spent on Food (Rounded to Nearest $)
$10 or so per meal.

Estimated Number of Underage Attendees with Badges
You would have noticed more than I would, Reno . . .

Number of Booth Babes You Wanted to Take Home to Meet the Folks
I wanted to take booth babes home to get introduced to their daddy. I'd much rather take a PR girl home to my parents.

Number of Times You Realized That You Had a Snowball's Chance in Hell of Bringing Said Booth Babe Home
I knew that before I got there. Every girl you see during E3 week is paid to smile and pose for your nerdy ass, and anyone who thinks otherwise is sad and delusional. Unless you're Reno, because he gets every woman ever.

Number of Games That Left You Groaning in Discomfort
One. Billy Hatcher.

Hours Spent in the Media Center
Three to four.

Hours Spent Ogling Booth Models
Maybe ten minutes. There was so little time for that.

Hours Spent Searching for Booths During Appointments
Not as much as Sqoon.

Hours Spent at Actual Appointments
Still, not as much as Sqoon. The boy is a machine.