I never played the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game that came out over the holiday season from Konami, and I don't even know if, being based on the new cartoon rather than the old one, it's in there or not. Yet looking at these little guys I can't help but start humming the "classic" TMNT theme. It's like an aural parasite, burrowing into the brain and using every little reference to start up its siren song of "doo doot, doo doot, doo dooDOO doot", etc.

These mini Turtles were given away one per customer to those who reserved Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the game. If you pop them out of the package, they measure up at 2.25" tall, just the right size to menace teeny-tiny Foot Clan minions. Unfortunately, they'll have to use their open-hand martial arts prowess rather than their amazing weapons skills to do this, seeing as they come without their trademark sai, bo staff, katana, and nunchuks. I'm guessing this has to do with fears of kids eating them, but once you've got the Turtles this small, the choking hazard line has been well and truly crossed, so you might as well go for the gusto and equip them properly.

Despite what it says on the back of the card, there didn't appear to be a Splinter, Shredder, or Foot Soldier available as a giveaway. Maybe I just missed them somehow (a scary thought, but not impossible) or maybe you can pop on down to Toys "R" Us or your nearby non-bankrupt K·B and fill in the collection. Maybe the toymakers just put them on there to drive us all nuts, or maybe it's because in order to have any of the other characters they'd have had to commision new molds. All four turtles are 100% identical except for paint job and the little name sticker on the front.

Either way, I actually kind of like these guys. Hmm . . . I wonder if they're small enough to drive the Spy Hunter car?

· · · James Cunningham