Sports and I are rarely mentioned in the same sentence, though I do enjoy the occasional arcade sports experience. I have spent some quality time with both All-Star Baseball titles for the NeoGeo and one of the Sega Genesis FIFA soccer games, and, heck, I bought NBA Jam: Tournament Edition, also for the Genesis. So a cartoony, fast-paced soccer game by Sega sounded all right.

Sega Soccer Slam is another step in meeting the GameCube's multiplayer potential. Nintendo's fun machine comes with four controller ports for a reason, and this game is a blast with two or three friends. One quick run through the practice stage should be enough to get most players acclimated, and the game speed is adjustable, so this is a perfect title for almost any group.

It takes all kinds

Nothing about this game is sim-like, but the character design is particularly outlandish. The competitors are broad stereotypes divided into six teams of three players each. There are teams from Africa, Latin America, Europe, the United States, and the Pacific Rim. Each is populated by a variety of personalities, from Rumiko, who takes a high-tech approach to augmenting her game, to Half-Pint, a big bruiser ripped straight out of London's punk scene. Developer Black Box went to some trouble to flesh out the two-dimensional players with a backstory, including motivations and goals. In addition, each player has a collection of taunts that they pull out after scoring, before the game, and after the game. They even parade out and shoot a quip after the movie in the attract mode.

The character selection goes beyond other sports titles to offer player rosters that look like a cross between Punch-Out and a second-grade fighting game. One player, Kahuna, reminds me of the van Damme movie version of Street Fighter's E. Honda, and wasn't Angus in Kasumi Ninja on the Jaguar? The level of detail is such that characters will begin to grow on you, and you will quickly develop preferred teams based on more than soccer ability.

Individual characters are distinguished by more than their looks and wisecracks, however. Besides the overriding strength of each team, every player has advantages and deficiencies. Hulking characters like team El Fuego's El Diablo and Toxic's Duke are powerful shooters and roughhousers. Sleeker, smaller characters are, as one would expect, faster but weaker. And, commendably, taller characters are better at high shots. The overall tendency is for checks and balances within a player, and teams are mixed all different ways, hence one team's superiority in passing, another team's in stealing, etc.

You can take the soccer stars as they are, or go through Quest mode to unlock improvements. Player enhancements are handled in a marvelously original manner here. Each team's quest consists of ten soccer events and several challenges. Playing through these earns money for the Soccer Store, wherein assorted pieces of equipment can be purchased to add to passing, shooting, stealing, hitting, and speed stats. Each item is tailored to a player's character, and is displayed in-game in a way that is unabashedly cartoonish but in sync with the rest of the design. A list of some of the power-ups (there are three per character) should provide a good idea of what to expect:

• Demon Fiesta Horns
• Rave-Star Necklace
• Bad-Girl Backpack
• Voodoo Mask
• Fusion Jet Pack

And yes, each item is prominently displayed, so that you may have, for example, El Fuego vs. the Tsunami team where a masked wrestler wearing a championship belt will thwart a pass from a big-bellied outback hunter wearing giant crocodile claws. Best of all, these augmentations can be carried over into the other play modes if so desired.

Besides the horns, backpacks, hairpins, and other accessories to be had, the Soccer Store in Quest mode also offers concept art for sale. That in itself is worth a look, but once again, the developers have added an extra touch where none was expected. Zoom in on the art to discover cheat codes, entered with combinations of button presses on the title screen. The codes unlock some pretty ritzy effects, which I won't spoil here. Suffice it to say that a dedicated player can unlock extras miles beyond Infinite Turbo and Big Head Mode, although both of those are also available.

The top of its game

Soccer Slam's aural atmosphere matches its visual verve. The play-by-play announcer introduces himself and each team, then calls the contest in a good amount of detail in a way that never becomes boring other otherwise intrusive. The post-goal taunts are plentiful, though most may make you wince with their level of political incorrectness (e.g., "I'm one hot tamale.") Different musical selections play depending on which character scored the goal. The crowd responds realistically, supporting hometown favorites and chanting the names of superstars.

The reactions of the competitors are also handled very realistically. Besides following the ball with their heads, players convincingly convey their triumphs and agonies with body language and facial expressions. On occasion, a player will inadvertently assist the opposition in scoring. When this happens, the game's "failure" music plays and the player who goofed falls to his knees in despair while the camera pulls dramatically heavenward. If that is not the coolest effect in a soccer game, I am not sure what is.

And, lest you fear that all this gloss is compensation for a weak engine, rest assured that SSS is a first-rate title through and through. Even if you will mostly be playing alone, this title is worth picking up. The pace is quick, the gameplay uncomplicated, and the fun factor is high.

The position assigned to each controller is selectable, so there is no need for switching seats or crossing cords. Also selectable are the arena (about ten in all) and the weather. Unless assigned specifically to one player before the match, anyone can switch between the available members of a team on the fly.

Several times each half, a spotlight associated with either team will start roving the field. Shooting from within the spotlight will slow down the action and provide a movable bull's-eye in the net to better aim the shot. Furthermore, successful actions will fill a combo meter at the bottom of the screen. Once this gauge is full, the most powerful shot in the game, the Killer Kick, becomes available. This is something like a Spotlight Shot on anabolics, as the player jumps ten feet into the air in slow motion, then rockets the ball toward the net. Along with Killer Kicks, team-specific elemental boosts add variety (and lovely particle effects) to the play.

Not realistic, but not too gimmicky, this is an excellent game on many levels. The multiplayer fun, the level of customization, and the sheer amount of unlockables each help to elevate this title far above the pack. This is one game you can play with granny and your gamer friend. Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ld!

· · · Nick