Don't buy Die Hard Trilogy 2: Viva Las Vegas. No, really. Don't buy it.

Why not? Because it reeks of laziness and poor production values. Everything from the cookie cutter plot to the uninspired gameplay modes to the sluggishly designed characters and levels make this game about as thought out as, well, most garden variety Hollywood action flicks.

Per the usual Die Hard storyline, everyone's favorite unkempt man of action John McClane is trudging through another uneventful stretch of terrorist inactivity, when an old friend gives him a jingle. Said friend has just become the new warden at a Las Vegas prison, and is having a party thrown in his honor, smack dab in the middle of the penitentiary. Well, let's see here. Anti-terrorist hero? Check. Party conveniently located in a dangerously insecure area? Check. Crafty-looking businessman with a ponytail? Check. What's that spell? JAILBREAK!

Once the game begins in earnest, you'll eventually be introduced to the three different styles of play: the third person action mode, an arcade shooting mode, and an ever-so-basic driving mode. Gameplay begins in the third person mode, and right off the bat, things start to get ugly. The first blemish I noticed is that John McClane's trigger finger is uncharacteristically slow. There's about a quarter-second delay in between shots with the default handgun weapon, which gives the enemy all sorts of time to blast away at your virtually unprotected body. Later in the game, terrorists can be seen toting some serious firepower, creating even more difficulty. Though this could have been easily remedied, what irks me especially about this flaw is that it at least could have been made far less problematic, maybe even passable, had the better weaponry been in a much greater abundance. Alas, that just isn't the case. Like it or not, justice or injustice, hell or high water, you are resigned to using that paltry little pea shooter for the bulk of the game. Oh, and did I mention that you can't carry more than two guns at once, INCLUDING the default pistol? Genius!

Moving on from that maddening chore, we actually get to have some fun with DHT2's "Sharpshooter" mode, a Virtua Cop rip off if there ever was one. To tell you the truth, it'd be pretty hard to screw this up, so the developers still don't get much credit. I'll stick to House of the Dead 2, thank you very much.

There's not much to be said about the so-called "Extreme Driving" feature, either. Except that it's morosely repetitive, controls sloppily, and could bore you to tears if it doesn't incite you to violence first (because we're all aware of every violent video game's propensity for THAT, aren't we Senator Lieberman). Think of an extremely bare bones Twisted Metal, only worse, and you have a pretty clear idea of how this poorly executed driving simulation works.

If you've gotten this far, it ought to be quite clear that nothing can possibly rescue this title from the state of craptitude it's currently mired in. But for the sake of completeness, I suppose it's necessary to touch on the graphics and sound, both of which are destined for the same boat that holds the rest of this game.

Die Hard Trilogy 2 looks so dated, it's hard to believe it was even released this year. Boring textures, clipping, lackluster animation, blocky characters, etc...the game practically acts as a "what's what" of warning signs for an awful looking game. Repetitive, annoying music, laughable voice acting, and stock sound effects more or less round out DHT2's laundry list of contemptible qualities.

And there you have it. Not only does Die Hard Trilogy 2 look and sound terrible, all of its play modes are mere watered down facsimiles of other, much better games. After looking this gift horse in the mouth, I have lastly decided on its final destination: the glue factory.

Yippie-Ki-Yay this ain't, folks.

· · · Soakrates