Mortal Kombat: Deception is the greatest fighting game ever made.

Okay, it isn't really, but it is the greatest fighting game released this year. Midway did a good job of making a solid game that's going to appeal to most gamers out there. No, it isn't as well rounded as Soul Calibur II or as deep as Virtua Fighter 4: Evolution - not by a long shot. But what it lacks in depth it makes up for in accessibility. Accessibility and blood. Accessibility and blood and sheer awesomeness.

The awesomeness comes from the fact that MKD has one of the easiest learning curves of any modern mainstream fighting game. Yes, there are kombos and you can switch between three different fighting styles on the fly, but it's also simple enough to pick up and play, something which the fighting game hardcore are going to hate. That isn't to say there's no skill involved, because two good players can get a good back-and-forth match going.

Stage fatality? It's only a flesh wound

I have to hand it to Midway that despite the flaws of Mortal Kombat 4, the company's done a good job bringing the series into 3D with Deadly Alliance and Deception. From the opening video and menu screen and throughout the entire game, it's very much Mortal Kombat, and there's a ton of fan service. The selectable characters range from a who's who to a "Who's that?" of the MK universe. Of course, you have Scorpion and Sub-Zero - Midway's Ken and Ryu - and classics like Raiden and Liu Kang (in zombie form!) unlockable, and some ghosts of characters past, like Baraka, Mileena, Jade, Noob Saibot (who you can select as a team with Smoke), and Kabal - though, no one is really sure why Kabal is in there.

Midway goes on to love its fans by giving each character another regular fatality (they only had one each in Deadly Alliance) and a new sort of fatality, a Hara Kiri, which the defeated player can use to end his own life. After all, honor is everything in Mortal Kombat. Also returning are stage fatalities, which can be performed at any time during a match, and there are a lot of them, from knocking your opponent into giant spiked wheels to hitting him off of a tower to splatter on the ground below, à la the Pit II.

And yes, the Pit is in the game, faithfully rendered in gorgeous 3D glory. If your opponent gets too close to the edge, a simple strong attack will send him or her to the land of impalement on the spikes below, giving you the round. Yes, they'll be back again in time for Round 2, but that's part of the fun that lies in the absurdity of MK games. The Pit isn't enough for you? The Deception team also loves you enough to give you some other favorite stages from the previous games to fight in, including the Portal and the Dead Pool. I know what you're thinking, and of course the stage fatality from the old Dead Pool is in there, complete with the "Uh huh" sound. They're all there, and all gorgeous.

The entire game is attractive. The character models are well done, even if ill-conceived. (Kobra? Come on . . .) Some of them have even been completely redone to give old characters a new edge, particularly Sub-Zero and Scorpion. ("Come over here," indeed, sexy) The blood effects are as nice as they were in Deadly Alliance, with blood flowing down the character models, although it has been scaled back so that it isn't nearly as over-the-top as in the last game. The audio . . . is there. There are enough screams and grunts to make it sound like a campy porn movie from the other room and perfectly acceptable fighting game ambience in-game.

The lighter side of disembowelment

Fear that you might get bored or nauseated from all of this bloody one-on-one kombat? Don't be afraid. Deception has more than just kombat, it also has many other modes with which to caress you. Puzzle Kombat, for starters, is a fun take on Super Puzzle Fighter that lets you select two fighters and have them destroy each other Tetris style. If puzzle games aren't your thing, there's also Chess Kombat. Pick a team from the available kombatants and fight for the board. Instead of automatically taking a piece when you run into it, kombat begins with the attacking piece at the advantage. So, if my Sub-Zero runs into your Baraka, we fight it out in one round of kombat, winner taking the square.

If you're picky and neither chess nor puzzles is your bag, there's also Konquest mode, which is a retooled version of the training mode from Deadly Alliance. However, before thinking about playing it, you should consider pounding a railroad spike into your face instead. It's quite possibly the sloppiest, worst mode ever included in any fighting game ever. The premise is that you run around doing errands for people and receiving training from the characters in the game. It's sort of like Shenmue made by someone that hates Shenmue, except that the voice acting makes Shenmue's look like Metal Gear Solid's, featuring such unforgettable lines as "I hear the guard likes ham." The idea itself is good, but poor implementation makes it nearly unplayable.

As you fight characters from the game, you become them for a short time and use their moves for other fights. Unfortunately, it is horribly planned and you get to be Sub-Zero for about 30 seconds, while you're stuck as some of the lesser characters for much longer. The worst part of the mode is the fact that you have to play it to unlock any characters or levels, and you won't care about getting zombie Liu Kang after an hour with it.

Overall, as cool as it is to be hardcore and hate Mortal Kombat, put your phallic overcompensation aside and give it a shot. It's a lot of fun, and it's online, and that's as much as you can ask from a fighter these days. So if you want to have fun, pick it up, and I'll see you at the Semi-National Mortal Kombat: Deception Skill Tournament.

God bless you, Ed Boon. God bless you.

· · · Derek Durham